Silence Kills, Speak Up

Silence can be deceptive. Speak up, you may never get a chance to say what you wanted to.

What should one do ?

3 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

A New Post

Suppose, you are in your office bus returning back home in late evening. You are on the right side window seat. And at the same time you find a beautiful lady with a charming face, sweet smile and of course a good height on the correspondingly opposite side i.e. on the left side window seat with no one else between the two of you. As usual, after a long day and of course yet another 1 hour travel left to reach home, it is expected that one would prefer looking out of the window [that’s why you took that seat da (trying out to write like a south Indian young writer because every fwd that u get regarding office, college and of course office bus are written and initiated by someone from Blore or Chennai but never Hyderabad, God only knows why) ] at the whole world around and think everything that’s irrelevant (because you would have never thought over those things had you not been idle). The lights, speeding car, the cross roads, the people around, the vast dark sky, the far invisible skyline, the disturbing radio playing on your phone (which you use even if you are actually not listening to music or the gossip in some regional language that would require more of your energy than you would require at your work place), all seem to be so beautiful. But a glance at the lady and what would you do then? Is it like you would continue looking at the other side of the window and keep yourself busy in your irrelevant thoughts or try and catch another glance of her acting as if the view on the other side of the window is greener? Now, many would answer saying No! They would not get affected at all and would continue with their irrelevant stuff. I too would answer with a big NO had I been asked by any of my friends.

Let us try it and be a bit more truthful. Why then, when she gets down, you actually start again with your same old irrelevant thought process and wait for your stoppage eagerly which initially you thought should never come closer and the bus should keep on moving with the only hope that she gets down at your stoppage incidentally.

Anyways, that’s a take from my today’s experience. But somehow writing this post was actually initiated by another thought. It was in the bus itself when it struck me to write down these words. In fact every word and sentence was framed while in the bus. I wish, I had a laptop (not a palm top or a blackberry’s carry your office with you just because its so uncomfortable to type things on their small keypad. How can one match his/her typing speed with the lightening speed of own thoughts? Sometimes it even gets tougher to manage to get everything typed with a laptop) every time along with me and I could write down each and everything that I wanted to. But conditions apply too. The laptop should be lighter and not a problem to carry everywhere. What about a memory card within your brain which could capture the things that you want to save for the later period? I won’t mind if I had to type it down when I get a system. But I should be able to get back every little thing that I wished to write in form of a cached thought. Seems like Abhisek has gone nuts and is over tech savvy these days while working with the WEB2.0 (would definitely come with a post on this someday, but not sure how soon…don’t expect me to write down as soon as possible since I m not that interested to explain to the world about the new technologies which could be found even without click of a mouse…how? One can use a joystick or a keyboard or even the newer versions of laser tip tops…sorry if it was too much :D ) and all that crap which was never required even during the most advanced Indus Valley Civilization. Well, you electronics and Biotech guys whoever is reading this please think of something which could solve my problem, and yeah be quick enough to achieve this before I die. And of course don’t forget to put my name as the brain child for your research. That would definitely be a tribute to my idea even though I wont ask for a royalty having copied my idea.

Ah! I have not even come to the sole point which I intended to write. Well, I wanted to dedicate this post to all those people who came into my life at some point of time, who influenced me, brought about a visible change (okay..not visible to all though but visible to me at least…dats why its intangibleabhisek), affected me, promised to stand by me at every step of mine whatsoever may be the circumstance and finally are no more in my life.( courtesy : lack of time, busy schedule, lost phone number, change of location and of course leaving without saying a bye) I know, I would never be back with those people individually. But somewhere I imagined how life would have been had these people still been there with me. What could have been the further changes in me? How would have they reacted to every thing around me and eventually how would I have conceived the never changing circumstances.

Finally I would like to wind up this as soon as possible else I would again get complain that my posts are pretty long and take too much of time to write. Sorry if this also seemed to be long. But I can’t write shorter. But I can always try to make it “short and short” nothing more than that.

Catch all of you later very soon (again I don’t know how soon but definitely it would be soon enough).

NB1: sorry for the inconvenience caused for all those extra bracketed texts.

NB2: no offence meant to anyone alive or dead and any resemblance to anyone around please get in touch with me. Wanna meet you soon [I mean asap (as soon as possible, bad habit gathered at office)].

Missing Stars

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

The best feeling ever!! What can it be??

Being in love? Being with the person you always wanted to be with?
Going to moon or is it driving the costliest car on the surface of the earth? Is it Lamborghini?
what else can it be ? Looking at the world, there could be zillions of things which could make you feel on the top of the world. That’s the feeling. The feeling of driving the best car, having a dream job as i read on a blog which talked about Dream Job, Dream Body and Dream Relationship. But all that makes you feel best and which you think to be the ultimate goal, doesn't stay long. Doesn't it appear really weird? It’s that particular moment, may be a fraction of a second or may be few minutes hours or days. But ultimately, that happiness, that joyous moment fades away. It was a good thought that one needs to maintain that state with the same effort that one makes to achieve it.
Perfect view point. I too agree with it.

There has always been a time when one wonders if he/she could get back to those moments and cherish it forever. The longing to get back always stays. And in a process one starts missing those events, those circumstances. It may be that you are the one who is detached from that system physically or may be that complete system or event or circumstance whatever you say has ended. One keeps on wondering with all ifs and buts. But life is not about these ifs and buts "but" it's all about the facts and guts. Guts to accept the facts of life. It may be sooner or later, but one has to accept the fact.

Anyways coming back to the "best feeling ever", I suppose by now you would have given a thought over it. Believe me; it was really tough for me to decide what this feeling must be. What it is that would make me feel the best? For me - Knowing that you are being missed by your own people makes you feel the best. I may miss many in turn, I may always want to be a part of them, I may wonder if I could be a part of all that I left behind. You let people know that you miss them, you miss being a part of their life. It makes them feel good. But, back there, whether they too feel the same, whether they miss your presence, makes you think twice over your own thoughts. But, guess what, someone calls you and says, "Hey Dude, we have been meeting every day for lunch together. You remember the way we always used to have, which had slowly turned into a dream for all of us because of our busy schedule and changing priorities? Yes, we are back again and we take out time to be together at least for an hour during the lunch. And you know what, we were missing you and we wished if you could be with us out here!!"

That’s the feeling. That’s it Boss! It makes me feel on the top of the world. Well, it’s been more than a year that our ITP days got over. We are no more ITPians. A new batch of fresh blood has come in. The new ITP batch. Every time you look at them, either in the corridor, or at the training rooms or at the canteen or even with their new posts at tech mate(Tech Mahindra's best portal so far), you would feel the same freshness, enthusiasm, the joy, the excitement that we had last year.

We too started off with the same colourful manner with hopes and promises to keep. My first post at techmate always gets a read every time I remember those days. But somewhere we all lost ourselves in the rat race. Don't blame the situation or the work load. I suppose we were even busier and disturbed during the ITP training, tests, re-tests and with the fear of being sacked. But then we fought together, we hit it hard and fired with all cylinders. The common thing being we were 'WE'. But then slowly things changed, we lost the grab, we started taking lunch at our own convenience, we started losing the hold of our hands. We shifted our gears on the fast track unaware of the fatal accident that we may face. We did face it! But we accepted it and moved on saying it to be LIFE. But never did we look back and check where we changed our priorities.
But after more than a year, we are back. Some have been relocated to different places, some are still at the same place and some are still busy enough to send a good morning mail. But, like I had the best feeling ever, can everyone out here get the opportunity to feel the same?? Yes we need to get back. Get back with the same feeling.

Now I don't have to be sad or feel bad that I am not a part of all of them during lunch, I may be still taking lunch all alone. But I am not sad. I feel good for the fact that I'm still among them. They all "MISS ME". They are missing the "STAR". Its not that I'm a star or I was something different. I was one among them and I am still one among them even today. Don't have any idea when we all would be together again, but its for sure that the day I meet even one of them, I know, I would feel the same being one among them.

Suicide ??

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

This is a poll that I had created in our office. The response was huge and definitely the answers were unexpected. I had thought that people would be against my genuine thought but i was taken aback by their response. What do u have to say about the same ? Before you go ahead with your comments please go through my idea about the same.

Please give the feedback on your own basic idea.
My Idea
A person committing suicide is definitely under lot of pressure and always takes this step as an ultimate solution to this problem. But do you agree that a person has to be suicidal in his attitude from the beginning? Is it always that a person who commits suicide is actually an escapist?

I believe no human being is suicidal. It’s an act which is committed within very small span of time. A person takes a decision to commit it only in a hurry and had he thought about all aspects of it, he would have never taken such a step. And we can never predict who is going through this thought. You never know the person sitting next to you would have felt like committing a suicide. Even a jolly and happy person you knew could take this drastic step under certain circumstances. But are these circumstances strong enough to take ones own life? How far do you think it is justified that circumstances are the reason for someone’s life death situation. But what matters is that, how strong is the thought of committing it at that particular moment when it strikes the victim.

Do we have any method to make out who is hit with this dreadful thought? How do we prevent them from taking such a decision? Even the most balanced person can get tumbled within moments of such behavior, for is there any particular medical implication which can help us avoid such thoughts?

Let's discuss what’s your take on such a sensitive topic which has always ruined families and the near one and dear ones wondering what could be the reason and how could he/she take such a drastic step without even thinking of them. But it still occurs now and then here or there.

Abhisek Mohanty
8/14/2008 11:13 AM

Feedback for this article:
agreed that one needs a lot of courage to come to decision to end life , but i think , even more courage is required to face the problems and live the life.wat say??
Pallavi Joshi


We all are forgetting the suicide bombers who end his/her life in the name of religion or Jihad and end up taking many more lives.
Liza Talapatra


Sucide......huh intresting. Can somebody tell me how the problem is solved after you attempt a successful suicide. Means i have lot of problems but this doesnt seem to be the saolution as it doesnt empower me to see my problem getting solved. Also if we see, from example of person who has done it, the problem is still there only you, a selfish filthy creature, has resighned from the very problem, but the others around you are still fighting the same and now with 2 hands lesser to support. Take a case of failure student (may be in exam or in any of the imp activity), still you have created problem for the people around you. The people were expecting from you to do better the next time but you failed to fullfil them so first to created a failure and agin you created another failure and ran away to place where no one can find you. I would be happy that through this forum if my thought reaches the individual who may think of the attempting suicide but changes his mind because of these words. In the end i would just like to say, if any one of you think of Sucide as solution to problem, please think again you are not solving the problem but you are running away from it making the problem much more severe than it is actually at present. And no one can conquer death it will take you with it as and when it wants to so dont let death win a easy victory.
Shounak Joshi


When person come to conclusion of committing suicide , that step is where he/she has tried & thought about all ther other option which can be of any help. But when he/she finds that all the doors are closed or he does not have courage to try for those option because of fear that it will hurt someone or he/she will get negative responce. In most of the cases the person who commit suicide is the one who things about people close to them very much & who think that its better to end their own life instead of giving trouble to their loved ones.
Samata Jogad


one needs a lot of courage to come to that point and decide to end one's life.its not that they are cowards and cannot face the world.
Aishwarya Rangarajan


@Suman : You need help. Please seek assistance from your friends and family. "Cool" hummmmmm....
Siddharth Verma


I think suicidal tendencies are coool and suicide victims are even cooler..
Suman Gogoi


I think it is all because, we all are not aware the important of life . Life? what exactly it is? no one knows completly. So we all should try to unfold this is ? ... we would be able to prevent this.
Jai Singh


I think there are many circumstances which can contribute to someone's decision to end his/her life, but a person's feelings about those circumstances are more important than the circumstances themselves.All people who consider suicide feel an extreme sense of hopelessness, helplessness, and desperation.People who talk about committing suicide or make an attempt do not necessarily want to die. Often, they are reaching out for help.
Anita Mulye


I agree with you Siddharth. Its really tough for anyone who is leaving behind everything....therefore somewhere we can comment unless we are in their shoes.
Abhisek Mohanty


I think this is all about one's EQ - Emotional Quotient. In this very competitive era - our systems always concentrate on IQ whereas no one really pays attention on EQ. Generally highly talented people or people who haven't had a chance to test any failures in their life time generally has a tendency to develop Inferiority Complex very easily. If one is strong enough on his EQ front he/she won't take such extreme steps. EQ development is affected by many factors over a long period of time right from our childhood. There was a very nice thing said about success and failure by renowned Marathi musicial. He said, we and success is just like a chakra. Success runs ahead of us and we try to catch the same. At times when we feel that we are not getting what we want, just relax and let the time decide the course of action. Eventually you will find that success is behind you and you are ahead of it." It's a very simple thing with a real deep meaning - one needs to understand this and let the time decide the course of action when it is really beyond our control.
Archana Gorkar


Circumstances can drive people to do anything, even to commit suicide. No one can actually fathom whats going on in the mind of person who is going through a rough phase. You might say that the people who commit suicide were losers and they could have held on for some more time and they could used some more courage, are commenting because they are not in that person's shoes. Facing anything first hand is all together different from sitting outside the ring and commenting on it.
Siddharth Verma


i can remember an sms i recieved whle at college.. it actually meant -"if you keep on praying and GOD never answers, it means he knows u can handle it and you are just wasting His time." -[cudnt put the exact words-].Some just never realise that. as people below say, LIFE is too beautiful a gift to lose cheap. btw , well said Nimish.
SriGuru N.G.


As someone has said: "Suicide is a permanent solution to the temporary problem." So, problems are always temporary, and after some period of time, they get resolved. Each problem has one or more definite-solution(s) definitely because a problem is nothing but something created by circumstances or by our own mistakes or by other people or by unavoidable natural disasters(which is not in our hand).The real thing lies in having the courage or strenth to wait till the solution comes or till we find solution with the help of others. As someone has said: "Someone who wins is not more courageous than others but he has the same amount of courage but that courage in him lasts longer than others." "The time when you think to give up, is only the right time to go ahead at any cost!" as read in Frozen thoughts magazine. Following catchline of Mission Istanbul is worth reading: "Darr Ke Aagey Jeet Hai!" So, only THAT MOMENT needs to be controlled where we feel that everything is out of control. And if controlled, you win!
Nimish Sonar


It's a foolish thing to commit commit suicide we cann't get any solution of our problems infact we create the big problem for our family & relatives. I think life is very beautiful & we have to live it & enjoy it. Life is most beautiful gift ever for everybody which is gifted by GOD. So, once again i wud like to say that those who commited suicide are fool, becoz they dont know how live life.
Praveen Sharma


Suicidal thoughts are an involuntary affliction. No body chooses to think them. Suicidal thoughts just enter, they just come into your mind on their own. Suicidal thoughts are very active and have tremendous emotional power. They push you, urge you, compel you towards suicide. I think most suicidal cases are based on unclear thinking. Persons attempting suicide want to escape from their problems. Instead, they need to confront their problems directly in order to find other solutions, solutions which can be found with the help of concerned people who support them through the crisis period. The attraction of suicide is that it will finally end all unbearable feelings. The tragedy of suicide is that deep emotional pain often blinds people to alternative solutions. Most of people committing suicide give some clue as to their intentions before they make an attempt. Becoming aware of these clues can help in preventing such a tragedy. Bharat Paliwal
Bharat Paliwal


Studies show, that person committing suicide has given few hints about his intention at different stages, before actually committing it. Person almost always is moody,when he is enjoying he can be the talk of the town, when he is not he can be the broodiest person around. Suicide rarely happens because of pressure, it happens due to sense of guilt, shame, rigid view on relationships. Person concerned almost always had a very strong sense of fairness and how things should be. It is the inability of compromise between what inner world says and how outer world behaves, drives the person to commit such act. Suicide is reprehensible act.
Probal Chatterjee


Rizwan - your friend's case is an exception.There are cases when a person decides to takes own life in a matter of minutes.But by and large ,Majority of people attempt Suicide after a long tension...
Shashikant Kulkarni


When i was in class 10 and preparing for final exam. One of my very close friends took this step and jump from 4th floor at 6:30 pm 10-jan-94. I and my other friends were also present at that time when we heard a sound and we rush towards him, next morning he died. The reason of his suicide was small quarrel with her sister. He was not under pressure neither he was sad that day, that day he was with us and was in good mood. Suicide is not a long term plan may be a person is under pressure or depressed or anything but he/she took this decision in a very span of time. If some one thinking that I want to suicide that means he is mentally ill. I agree with Pankaj that is why in Islam Suicide is forbidden.
Rizwan Asdaque


Abhisek ,your first line that -A person committing suicide is definitely under lot of pressure and always takes this step as an ultimate solution to this problem ... is very much true. But I dont agree that he / she take this decision in very small span of time. I dont remember but I have read a artical by one Japanese about the same topic.According to that - a person taking his/her own life do it after thinking on it for a lot of days and times (ofcourse his power of thinking positively is very limited.)Main reason is he don't share his problems with anyone.There is no way you could find out who will be the next. The only simptum I think is when you see a person very dipressed / keeping to himself, stop taking interest in matters/things which he/she used to be. Proper consulling at this very stage is the only solution on this...
Shashikant Kulkarni


I do not think sucide is solution for any problem. Sucide of a person is a big punishment to his entire family. sucide is selfish step, i want to mention only one thing here "Live your life for others [your family,friends]". This is the ultimate way of staying happy.
Pankaj Mirajkar

Mind - Rambling Around

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

I have been going through lot many thoughts these days. Just didn't the outlet till now. Thank god. Few proxies too work at office :)

Before I get started, I would like to give the news up front. Finally I accepted a project at Pune. Sometimes we need to adjust to circumstances and let life play. Have been really busy these days and this is the time which makes me think. Thoughts keep crossing without giving you a chance to even think about that thought.

Recently when I was with my room mates discussing everything on the top of the world I got a suggestion from one of my very good friends, Rahul, to write a book. I mean I know I can write a book. He could convince me that I can get along and think seriously to write a book. I too want to write a book but had never analyzed anything on what kind of book it must be. But yeah, after the suggestion that night I could not stop thinking about the subject. I got it and even I have planned for it. The way it would start and the whole story is before me. But I don’t know seriously when I can begin it. May be I can start after this year. But definitely that discussion with Rahul and Vivek has opened the flood gates for me to think for my dreams. A publishing house of my own is a dream. But how far I achieve this is a big question mark.

My leaves have been cancelled for the Puja vacation and I would only be taking a leave after 15th, Jan 2009. That’s sad but currently I am focused on my job and may be this is the field which I have ignored the most. But slowly but steadily am getting everything into the groove. Things are settling down and I have started enjoying what I am doing. That’s the most important thing which I need.

Getting back on track feels great and in the process I’m least bothered about anything around me. Things are changing but I have taken this responsibility to make things the way I want it to be and leave the rest what I don’t care about. Loving this time where I have found time for myself. Orkutting, checking mails and of course blogging have made life better and of course the new pressure cooker situation is making it feel good. Few movies in the last few weekends complete the quota of movies that I needed to complete. Few night shows and small hang outs at Adlabs make life better. The best ones being Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na, Bachna Ae Hasino, Mumbai Meri Jaan and Rock On. A trip to Mumbai two weeks back was more special with Chicku and her friends. Mumbai is no doubt a city of dreams – “Sapno ki Nagri”.

I have seen many Oriyas who stay outside Orissa and forget their own culture.Came across a good fine friend who proved me wrong. Having stayed outside the state since birth, it is expected that you won’t know anything about your motherland. But it was surprising to note that the person is grounded to the roots which made me feel great at office. Such people are examples for those who don’t give a damn to their culture when they leave their own land. Its not about an Oriya or Marathi but what I want to project is that we better know our own culture. Some people may not agree with this thought but I don’t feel sorry for what I say. Rather we can look at this thought from a broader sense. We as Indians don’t actually understand our own priceless history and culture but ask an NRI who has not visited India since 10 years. He would rather be more connected to his/her land. He must be asking his children to learn more about their country India but we as Indians fail to feel great about our own country. We have proved to be the best in all the fields and even we are improving in Olympics but we don’t care to take this forward. Few weeks back Abhinav Bindra wrote for The Times of India as a guest editor. His thought was really very crystal clear and he has proved to be worth his Gold Medal. I have been following his few interviews and other pieces of articles that come about him and his take on the field of sport needs to be considered if we want India to excel in Olympics. We need to grow as a country and be proud about ourselves.

Singur crisis has uncovered the truth about politicians who do anything for their own good. Tata industries have the reputation of being an organization who has given back to the society and to the country. The Nano Car being the best example. Even the employee satisfaction and the way they feel for their people need not be mentioned. But after all this that they have faced, I feel if these things continue it would be never in near future that we can see India as a super economy. For the petty politics and self benefit, our politicians would ruin the country and seeing India at the top would always remain as a dream. Its sad that the whole country is busy watching game shows, not at all funny comedy shows and the pathetic news channels. But in all this, the way Mukesh Ambani, The Birlas and The Godrejs have come up addressing the issue and shown their suppprt for The Tatas, no doubt our Corporate have been progressive and matured themselves to a great extent for the development of the country leaving aside their own rivalries and cut throat competitions. Definitely a good sign for the growth of the country.

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost