Silence Kills, Speak Up

Silence can be deceptive. Speak up, you may never get a chance to say what you wanted to.




Showing posts with label Favourites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Favourites. Show all posts

First Attempt at Prompt Writing

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

I had never tried my hand at writing blogs at some other forum. Somehow I never felt comfortable. May be I was afraid to fail at the first go. Being a shy guy (yes that's what I consider myself to be :P), I refrain from going out and attempting to write something which may turn out to be a complete flop. The comfort zone is a major factor. I have been blogging on my blog since Aug 2006, so this has always been my place. A lion's own den. This reminds me of a saying 'A dog is even a lion in his own lane'. So that's how I have been.

Surfing through different friends' and fellow bloggers posts has been my hobby since long. I thank Aditi for her recent post regarding such a forum/site where bloggers post their write ups. The thing that attracted me was the concept of prompt writing. I need to give a bow to Aniket for taking the initiative to start something like this. Though I was aware of writing contests across the blogger community, I had never realized that if I give it a try I could even do it. I had never thought over it much. There are such good writers and bloggers on WWW that it feels a bit humiliating to post something as a competitor out there. There comes the best feature in Flash Fiction. There is no winner and there are no losers. I hate being called a loser by my inner voice.

Thus came the warrior within me to give it a try. I had my first attempt at prompt writing. I would require all your support in letting me know how I performed at this. It felt like writing in an examination hall in school. It took me about four hours to create the whole thing. I wouldn't consider it to be one of my best though. And personally speaking I feel I did justice to the attempt but I failed at one point. Limiting no of words within 1000. I've always failed to keep it short. And once again I struggled hard to make it within 1000 words. Finally the post had 1700 plus words. I consider myself to have done well. Pat on the back for that (chuckle). ;)

View my first post here.



Guncha koi mere naam kar diya

6 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

This is a song from the movie 'Main Meri Patni aur Woh'. It's a beautiful ghazal sung by Mohit Chauhan (dooba dooba singer). The lyrics is absolutely mesmerizing and is amazingly soothing to the ears. It can rest your soul in peace and can make your blood flow stand still. Its a soft, sweet and subtle one which can keep playing on your music player on repeat.


Mohit Chauhan has done full justice to the song with the way he has sung it. It's definitely one of the best songs by him.

The movie is as well too good with some outstanding performances by Rajpal Yadav, Rituparna Sengupta and Kay Kay Menon. All three of them have been my favorites and are definitely not the regular bollywood style performers. They are classic with their performance. It's story line is just perfect with a beautiful portrayal of a middle class married man who is just a common man. The relationship that he shares with his wife and all that he goes through due to his insecurities regarding himself. The emotions come with a real life feeling and anyone can connect to the characters quite easily. Its a sweet short simple movie which is a must watch.

If you haven't yet heard to this song then do listen to it and have another song added to your favorite playlist of songs.

Enjoy!





Lyrics

Guncha koi mere naam kar diya.....
Guncha koi mere naam kar diya.....
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Guncha koi hmm....

Tum jaisa koi nahi is jahaan mein
Tum jaisa koi nahi is jahaan mein
Subah ko teri zulf ne shaam kar diya
Subah ko teri zulf ne shaam kar diya
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Guncha koi hmm....

Mehfil mein baar baar idhar dekha kiye
Mehfil mein baar baar idhar dekha kiye
aankhon ke zazeeron ko mere naam kar diya
aankhon ke zazeeron ko mere naam kar diya
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Guncha koi hmm.......

Hosh bekhabar se huye unke bagair
Hosh bekhabar se huye unke bagair
Hosh bekhabar se huye unke bagair
Woh jo humse keh na sake dil ne kah diya
Woh jo humse keh na sake dil ne kah diya
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Guncha koi hmm.......

Guncha koi mere naam kar diya.....
Saki ne phir se mera jaam bhar diya...


NB: The lyrics above has a para (mehfil main baar baar...) which not in the video clip of the movie.

I believe I can fly

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

I believe I can fly by R. Kelly is one of the best songs that I've ever heard to. The lyrics is just awesome and can give life to a dead who would have had dreams to fulfill. I had heard to the song for the first time during my Malaysia 2008 visit and this song had given me goosebumps, just amazing.

For the first time I had heard the female version of it and finally after such a long time I could find the exact version of it. It is sung by Yolanda Adams and music by Kenny G. I feel this version is better than the original one. The video is just awesome with some marvelous photos through the slide.




Lyrics

I used to think that I could not go on
That life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
By leaning on the ever lasting arms

Bridge:
If I can see it
Then I can do it
If I just believe it
There's nothing to it

Chorus:
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly(x3)

Yolanda Adams
See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes the silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first it's got to start inside of me

(Bridge)

(Chorus)

Cuz I believe in me, yea,ohhhhhhhhhh

Yolanda Adams:
If I can see it

Be Be Winans:
Then I can do it

Yolanda Adams:
If I just believe it

Be Be Winans:
There's nothing to it, oh

(Chorus)

I believe I can fly(I can fly)x3
I can do anything yea,yea,yea.yea
I can flyx3
I can do anything, yea,yea,yea

Anything I wanna do(Anything I wanna do)x3
I can do anything
I can fly

Closest to My Heart

4 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Few people turn to their saved photo albums, letters and what not to get back to their good old days. Their present of course is a reflection of their post. But it really feels great going back to those days which are always memorable. I too get back sometimes to my good old days. But not mostly in the manner people would generally do.

After a long time, as I have said earlier as well, I have been finding time with myself. To feel the best of your own life. Recently on one of my fellow blogger's post I had commented on how you can always enjoy with your own self without being bored. Bibhash thanks to you for writing that one on your blog. I could feel the need to be with myself. It had been really long time that I could find sometime. I visited my own blog reading different posts. Having read most of my favorites, I was taken back to my old days where I lived a life which can never be recreated. Something I left behind is never going to be the same ever again. It really feels great! Nostalgic is what you can say but it was a coincidence that I happened to do it on a day which I too hadn't realized until I had a look at the time stamp. I was reading one of the posts which is a fiction. I consider it to be closest to my heart. May be it had some resemblance to what I went through when I left Kolkata. Though there wasn't anything similar to the love story but yes, the theme that Apurv was leaving his place for his career was quite similar to my leaving Kolkata when I had options to stay back and compromise with my career. Though nothing great occurred as anticipated or I would prefer saying it was a wrong notion that everyone had regarding Pune center. But of course, my leaving Kolkata was quite similar to Apurv's circumstances. And the best part of coincidence is that I had written this fiction exactly two years back on 20th April 2010.

Well, I would surely like to insert the link of my post which is closest to my heart. I expect a comment on the story, of course only if you like it. :)))


Take care and sleep well!

I too had a love story by Ravinder Singh book review

16 broke the Silence...wen wud U?


It had been long time that I had read a good book and nothing better than "I too had a love story" by Ravinder Singh to make that long wait end. This was a book which came across me as a surprise. Though I had never heard about this book, but my quest to read a book made me purchase this one thanks to the price being only 80 INR. Jokes apart the quote on the book "Not everyone in this world has the fate to cherish the fullest form of love. Some are born, just to experience the abbreviation of it" made me feel like going through the love story which seemed to be true.

"I too had a love story" is a true love story. It's about Ravin's life and his much loved beloved Khushi. Being a true one it has the simple, common things which every one of us can relate to. Full credit goes to Ravinder for creating the magic through his words. It would have never been an easy task to pen down one's own story when you have lived it. One would not know what to put in and what not in a very nut shell making it interesting at the same time. That makes the book beautiful. The way Ravinder has carved the characters, the situations and specifically the conversations are worth noticing. His narration is very much like a conversation and one would feel him telling the story face to face. The biggest thing that the book has is the conversations between the two partners. You would die to keep on reading the conversations just because you too would have had such small talks in this new age of technology. It's not a classical love story of the old days, but it's a story of the twenty first century with the strong base of Indian values.

Everyone who has loved or knows what love is all about would love to read the book and those who have not felt it in their heart and are yet to experience what love is, they would also not be disappointed. Ravinder himself being a person from the field of IT working in a renowned IT company instantly connects to the readers from the industry specifically. Generally considered to be naïve and non romantic that a software engineer can as well have emotions and feel like any normal person rather than being a techno-savvy gimmick is what meets the expectations from the young budding writer's attempt.

This is a story about a software engineer who lands up in a matrimonial site named Shaadi.com and happens to get the love of his life. The love that they both share over the long distance by the help of the gadgets and technology proves that love over the internet, social networking sites and phone is not a new thing for this generation. It can be natural and very much practical given the sincerity among the partners. Further, it also brings to the fore the life which the young graduate software engineers lead. Their aspirations, their expectations from life and from their relationships for which they find very less time thanks to the overly demanding professional life has been subtly put in though this is not the theme or objective of the book. But it definitely is the undercurrent. This book shows how the two people go along with their love story and how it turns into a tragic end but nevertheless that life needs to move on and it's not always the end to life.

Though quite predictable, the story is well carved out and very much tightly intact. It keeps you well connected. It doesnt let you keep it down and take a break. This is a book worth reading and can also be gifted to your loved one. One of the classics in this genre and I suppose very much close in comparison to "Love Story" by Erich Segal. It's already a national bestseller.

You can buy this book only for only Rs.80 from the official website
http://ravindersinghonline.com/.
Don't forget to read the reader's comments and what media says.

Happy reading and hope you find to know the true meaning of love which is tough to find in this materialistic world.

Zindegi Ke Kuch Sachhaiyan - Zindegi Ki Safar Mein Lyrics

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Zindagi Ke Safar Mein Guzar Jaate Hain Jo Makaam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate

Phool Khilte Hain, Log Milte Hain
Phool Khilte Hain, Log Milte Hain Magar
Patjhad Mein Jo Phool Murjha Jaate Hain
Vo Baharon Ke Aane Se Khilte Nahin
Kuchh Log Ik Roz Jo Bichhad Jaate Hain
Vo Hazaron Ke Aane Se Milte Nahin
Umra Bhar Chahe Koi Pukaara Kare Unka Naam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate
Zindagi Ke Safar Mein...

Aankh Dhokha Hai, Kya Bharosa Hai
Aankh Dhokha Hai, Kya Bharosa Hai Suno
Doston Shaq Dosti Ka Dushman Hai
Apne Dil Mein Ise Ghar Banane Na Do
Kal Tadapna Pade Yaad Mein Jinki
Rok Lo Rooth Kar Unko Jaane Na Do
Baad Mein Pyaar Ke Chahe Bhejo Hazaron Salaam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate
Zindagi Ke Safar Mein...

Subah Aati Hai, Shaam Jaati Hai
Subah Aati Hai, Shaam Jaati Hai Yunhi
Vaqt Chalta Hi Rehta Hai Rukta Nahin
Ek Pal Mein Ye Aage Nikal Jaata Hai
Aadmi Theek Se Dekh Paata Nahin
Aur Pardey Pe Manzar Badal Jaata Hai
Ek Baar Chale Jaate Hain Jo Din-Raat Subah-O-Shaam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate
Zindagi Ke Safar Mein

Great Lyrics

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

kisee baat par main kisee se khafaa hoon
mai jindaa hoon par jindagee se khafaa hoon
khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon ...

muze dosaton se shikaayat hain shaayad
muze dushmanon se mohabbat hain shaayad
mai is dostee dushmanee se khafaa hoon
khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon ...

n jaane kahaa kab kise dekhataa hoon
magar main jahaa jab jise dekhataa hoon
samazataa hain wo main usee se khafaa hoon
khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon ...

n jaagaa huaa hoon, naa soyaa huaa hoon
main dil ke andheron mein khoyaa hoon
kisee chaand kee chaandanee se khafaa hoon
khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon, khafaa hoon ...

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

Some Diary Pages - A fiction from Internet

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

SOME DIARY PAGES – 1

Date: 15-Jan
HE:
I wait everyday till 8.00 in the office even if there is no work. All of my teammates ask me why; how can I tell them that I don’t wait for any personal or official work but the only reason why I wait is the ‘secretary’- a girl in my 8.00 p.m. Chinchwad bus. ‘Secretary’ is not her real name, it’s sort of a code name given to her by me and my friends. Truly speaking, I like her. She might not be one of those who look like Aishwarya Rai or Preitty Zinta, but she is cute and simple and that’s the reason I like her. For past 6 months I have been staring at her in the bus, while going to office and coming back from the office. When I get into bus, somehow my eyes search the whole bus just to have her glimpse.
I never had a girlfriend till now, not that I don’t like to have friendship with girls but somehow they usually prefer tall-dark-handsome qualities in their boyfriends, out of which I possess none. I don’t want to jump to any relationship like this with the secretary but at least just a friendship, is it possible?
I want to talk to her. I want to have friendship with her. I know her name, for I had seen her ID card one day. But I don’t have the guts to talk to her. I even don’t know whether she knows me even by face. I know, no one can help me here; no-one other than myself, but I simply have no guts. At least someone probably a common friend, might at least formally introduce us to each other.
SHE:
There is one guy in my office bus. His name is Shriram. I think he likes me, for me and even my friends have observed him many times staring at myself. Even when he gets into the bus, rather than searching for an empty seat, his eyes search the whole bus for me. Don’t know why but I kind of like it. Sometimes the feeling of knowing that someone loves you is far better than actually loving somebody. I didn’t have any affair till today, not that I didn’t like or love anyone, there was a guy in my college, whom I liked a lot but somehow he stayed away from me, not that he didn’t like me but probably because I am not that beautiful and he wanted someone much more better than me.
This guy, Shri, that’s what his friends call him, I had heard it once in the bus; he seems to be interested in me, not sure about love as such but friendship might not be bad. At least the guy seems to be decent one. I would like to be his friend, but how can I go forward? Afterall he is the boy, he should come one step ahead …not me.
SOME DIARY PAGES – 2
Date: 16-Jan
HE:
My roommate told me to approach her and get introduced to her all by myself. It’s not that easy; this is not a college, what if she complains about this to higher authorities? No, I can’t take this risk. Someone else better introduce her to me. God, can you help me please?
SHE:
My cousin told me to show some sign to him that I am ok in having friendship with him. I think he is afraid to come forward. I’ll give him a good friendly smile tomorrow, when he gets into the bus. I hope he understands and decrypts my signal. God, can you please help him?
GOD:
Now should I come into this picture? Both of these human beings are acting as if they are in a big problem. Although not for me, I had made life so simple for you, just added a bit of emotions there and see how complex you have made it. Now that I am the god, you must have been expecting me to intervene and have some miracle, but no; I won’t interfere here. I have created this world with some fixed rules and everything is just working as per that. Why should I just interfere and break my own rules thereby disrupting the balance of this whole system?
SOME DIARY PAGES – 3
Date: 17-Jan
HE:
Today when I got into the bus and looked at her, she returned back a cute smile. Was she serious? I don’t know; probably she must have told her friends about me and they must have been making fun of me and that’s why when I got into the bus she started laughing and I misunderstood it for smiling. Such a fool of me. Damn, her friends must be having fun discussing things about me.
SHE:
Today when he got into the bus, I smiled at him. But he seemed to be more puzzled than pleased. Is he really interested in having friendship with me or not? I really don’t know. Why am I thinking so much about him? Have I started liking him? Or is it just like you just get used to some things as a habit, and then you unknowingly start liking them? I think it’s the latter case here. Please god please let that guy be a descent one. My sixth sense says he is a descent guy. I think he must have got puzzled because of the smile I gave him. It wasn’t my fault, for I showed him that I am interested in friendship. Now the ball lies in his court. Will he dare first to talk?
Date: 18-Jan
HE:
I am damn confused. I don’t know what to do. Every day everyone around me is bombarding me with some tactics to approach her but nothing seems to suit me well. My roommates even started taunting me that I can’t have a girlfriend or at least the guts to approach the gal. I am leaving it now on luck. I will just continue whatever is going on; let the luck take us wherever and however intended.
SOME DIARY PAGES – 4
Date: 25-Jan
HE:
Nothing unusual or special happened in the last few days. However, today I thought something interesting might happen. The bus was about to start the back-home journey today when she and one of her friends got into the bus. They were searching for a place to sit. I was alone on a seat of three. I was thrilled that she would sit on the same seat beside me. But she just came, momentarily paused at the seat, turned to her friend and just went past; to sit on the last seat. I couldn’t see the expressions on her face clearly but what I saw was a face filled up with hate or some similar feeling that clearly showed expression such as whatever might happen, I am not going to sit beside this *****. It was really heartbreaking. It was the biggest insult I had suffered till now. Am I so hopeless?
Date: 26-Jan
HE:
Today, there was public holiday so I got lot of time to think and analyze the situation. What was my fault? I haven’t done anything wrong. I didn’t ever talk to her, I never tried to flirt, I never gossiped about her except for my close friends. I am even sure that none of my co-travelers in the bus know that I like her. Whenever I stare at her I take necessary precaution as not to be too obvious. I don’t want to embarrass her in any way. When I am trying my best for this, then why did she have such cruel expressions on the face?
I think either she knows now that I like her and stare at her and she doesn’t want to encourage me or simply, she just hates me for no reason, just like many of my classmates who hate me for no reason.
I don’t know what to do now, but either ways I think she just doesn’t want me to be anywhere around her. She just hates me, just one more failure. Does it hurt? Yes it does, but I am very much used to it. I’ll try my best not to look at her. I don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t like. I will try to forget her as if she was just one more dream in my life which simply didn’t come true. Probably, I don’t deserve to be with her. This is fate after all. I will have to obey it.
Date: 26-Jan
SHE:
Today was a holiday. So I couldn’t see him, although I wanted to. I actually wanted to apologize for whatever happened yesterday. I got into the bus and searched for the seat. He was sitting alone on the seat for 3, it was a good chance for me to sit with him and have a word or two. I was just thrilled. I was about to sit on the same seat when Kruti said something. I didn’t hear it properly so I turned to her. She said,”See, Aravind is there, he has reserved seats for us.” I just hate that Aravind, he is always ready to flirt provided the other person is a girl. Whenever I see him, somehow I try my best to be as away from him as I can, I even show hatred to him directly on my face but this guy simply ignores this. I don’t know why Kruti likes him so much.
So the point is I went to the seat that Aravind had reserved specially for us. I felt really bad for Shri, but if I would have denied Aravind’s offer and would have sat on Shri’s seat; it would have just been too obvious. He must have felt embarrassed. Poor guy.
SOME DIARY PAGES – 5
Date: 27-Jan
SHE:
Today he seemed to have lost in thoughts. When he got into the bus, surprisingly he didn’t search for me. He even didn’t look up. He just went straight to the last seat and started reading a novel. I tried looking at him once or twice but he didn’t lift his head at all. I think he is hurt, I am feeling sorry, but what can I do? When we got down at the office gate, I purposefully lingered a bit more at the gates to give back him a smile, but I couldn’t spot him in the crowd. Shri, I am sorry, please be normal again.
Date: 27-Feb
HE:
I was working in the night shift for the whole month so had to travel by cab rather than bus. I used to work from 4.00 p.m. to 2.30 a.m. so naturally I had lost contact with almost all people working in dayshift except for my teammates who would surrender the charge to me while leaving for the day. For the whole month I didn’t travel by bus. Obviously didn’t see her. She works in the adjacent building only, but I don’t know where her cubicle is located exactly and anyways even if I would be knowing that, I don’t think I have that much guts to approach her.
For almost a month I didn’t see her, but I didn’t feel any desperation to see her. I was unbelievably aloof in this case. Was it the effect of that evening incidence?
SOME DIARY PAGES – 6
Date: 28-Feb
HE:
Today, the office had planned to screen a movie in the campus. I had seen it but thought of enjoying it with friends in the open air. I took the permission for an hour from my boss and went for that. The dialogues were not much audible on the lawns, but it was fun to watch the movie in an open air theatre like that. I was to leave the place to return to my cubicle and turned around when I saw her standing there just around 10 feet away from me.
I don’t know why but my heart started speeding a lot higher than even Schumi’s Ferrari. She just smiled at someone in the crowd at my back, tried her best not to look directly to me and just left the place. I stood there for a minute or two just wondering what had happened.
Why did she smile? Did she feel good that I am still in the same company only or she didn’t even take notice of my presence and really smiled at someone in the crowd at my back? But we were so close that it was practically impossible for her to just ignore me.
SHE:
I saw him today, at the movie screening. Thank god he is still working with this company only. I thought of smiling at him and greeting him. I was so happy to see him, I wanted to ask him where he was for so many days, whether he was not well, had he changed his house or was he using bike for the transport, but again I didn’t ask a single question. I stayed calm. I didn’t want to embarrass him again.
I don’t know what I feel about him, but somehow whenever I see him, I do feel better. I hope he starts traveling by bus again. Every day we can see each other in the morning and wish each other a very good morning without any words or smile but just with a plain look
SOME DIARY PAGES – 7
Date: 5-march
HE:
I resumed my normal duty today. It was good to see all those familiar faces once again after so many days. Of course my eyes were searching only one face out of that but still.
Just like my normal schedule, I got into the bus. She was sitting there with the same plain look on her face, nowhere even a single line of recognition, but when she saw me, her face reflected a small smile. It couldn’t escape my notice. Was she happy to see me back in the bus? I don’t know about her, but I was definitely happy to see her.
SHE:
I was so happy, I tried my best to conceal my happiness but I felt like getting up from my seat and just sit beside him and talk, talk and just talk to him. Hey what’s this? What’s happening to me? I never felt like this for anyone. Is this just sympathy for that evening thing or is this love? No chance of it. I don’t believe in this love at first sight or so. We don’t know each other, we don’t know anything about each other, and how can this be love? Probably just infatuation… whatever it may be… I love this feeling very much
SOME DIARY PAGES – 8
DATE: 7-March
HE:
Today can be called as the luckiest day of my life. I talked to her face to face for the first time. Rajesh, my friend had some work in Nigdi today and was traveling by our bus and surprisingly he knew her well. They were college mates during the degree. He introduced us formally. I was so happy, that I just forgot that sometime back she just avoided sitting beside me. Everything in my brain, all my nervousness, and hatred for her as well as for my loser …all was just washed up.
Now I can talk to her, I hope I can turn this chance to success. Oh god thanks a lot… Rajesh was just like an angel sent by you.
SHE:
Thanks a lottt god…. I am so happy. Even he was. I could easily make that out from his face. It was just so bright. He still has feelings for me. Thank god, I thought after that day I kinda lost him, but no. Now we can talk to each other officially. No problem of who is first … we are friends now. God you are great.
Rajesh:
Today I had some work in Nigdi so had to travel by office bus. I thought better to go with Shri just for the sake of good company but it didn’t seem to be necessary when I saw my best friend from our degree college traveling by the same bus. It was a really pleasant surprise to see her after a couple of years or so. I think my transfer to Pune will result in some good thing. She has become more beautiful than she was in our college days. Damn.. Why the hell did I neglect her in college when she had crush on me… I hope she is still single, not even committed or so. I would like simple girl like to get settled in life. Now I am well settled in job, should go forward with love matter also.
When I introduced Shri to her today, somehow her face lit up as if she was eager to have a word or two with him since many days. Shri’s condition was no different. Do they have something between them? I hope there is nothing of such sort. Oh God, thanks a lot that you made me meet her, I hope you help me once again to make her mine. Please just keep Shri out of this.
GOD:
If you get only happiness then you don’t feel its value, do you? That’s why everything is planned in such a way that whenever you get happy you should understand its true value. I haven’t done anything special here. It’s all just happening as predefined.

SOME DIARY PAGES – 9
Date: 10-March
HE:
Since Rajesh has introduced us to each other, the days have been very good for us. I mean I didn’t talk to her or so, but at least we exchange smile regularly. Let’s see whether I can sit beside her sometime and have a word or two.
Date:12-March
HE:
I sat beside her today in the bus while returning from office. We were chatting a lot, on no specific topics as such, but I really enjoyed her company. She is really a cute, simple and sweet girl. She said she will be reserving a seat for me in the morning bus. Let’s see whether she really keeps her promise…
Date:16-March
HE:
Since last few days, she had been reserving a seat for me in the morning as well as in the evening bus. We both seem to enjoy each other’s company very well. I decided to take a step forward today. I asked her for a cup of coffee in the afternoon. I was a bit depressed about what she might reply but surprisingly, she said yes without thinking even for a moment as if she was actually waiting for such a move from my side. We decided to meet at 4 near the café inside the campus.
She didn’t turn up. I don’t have her cell number so I even couldn’t call her and ask why she did so. It was so embarrassing for me to wait there just alone. Did she do it purposefully? Why? I could make out no sensible reason.
If she would be having a meeting or some office work, she should have informed me. She didn’t call me. My extension or even cell number was available with the telephone directory. Did she do it for the only reason that she wanted to show that she doesn’t care for me and prove her importance?
SHE:
Today that happened real disaster. The servers were down and I was so busy in recovering them, debugging the code that I almost forgot I had my first ‘date’ with Shri. I suddenly remembered it just before going to a meeting at 2 and I was sure that I can easily finish off with the meeting by 4 and meet Shri, but no. The destiny had some other plans. I had to be in meeting till 5. I even couldn’t phone Shri and inform him that I am not coming. By the time I was free from that chaos, it was already 6. He must have left for the day. He was going to Mumbai today, so he must have left early.
What can I do? I wanted to meet him and apologize face to face. Mail or phone won’t do. I hope we meet on Monday. I’ll explain him everything. He is a nice guy. He will understand me properly. I am hoping so, obviously I don’t have any other option at least till Monday.
SOME DIARY PAGES – 10
Date:19-March
HE:
I left for the day early today at 6. I had traveled from Mumbai in the morning and so needed rest or was it just to avoid her since she travels by 8 o’clock bus? I don’t know the reason but I felt like just avoiding her.
SHE:
Where is he? He must have come from Mumbai in the morning and joined directly, that’s why he wasn’t in the morning bus, but why not in the usual evening bus at 8? Probably he was tired. Let’s hope he meets me tomorrow morning. He will listen to me and this time I will invite him for a coffee or so.
Date: 21-March
HE:
Yesterday, she explained me the whole thing. How stupid of me? I was thinking really absurd things about her. She is such a cute girl; it was not her mistake that she had to attend the meeting. I was kind of ok when she gave me the explanation. The conversation after that just went normal as it used to be earlier. Whatever that might be but I am not going to ask her out anymore.
Date: 22-March
HE:
What the hell… what does she think of herself? Today she invited me for a coffee at 4. I went there on time. I didn’t want to miss it but again she didn’t turn up. Why? Is she just stressing how important she is and how unimportant I am for her? I felt like calling her there only and just ask the reason why is she playing games with me like this. I decided to ask this for full and final what the matter was, but she didn’t turn up even for 8 o’clock bus.
Date:27-March
HE:
I couldn’t see her for last 5 days. Did she come to office? Isn’t she feeling well? I hope she is alright. Oh God, please protect her.
Date: 10-April
Rajesh:
Her father was seriously ill. As a family friend, I helped a lot. She couldn’t go to office for a fortnight or so, but I helped her in conveying the matter to her seniors. I think this last week helped me a lot as in building a rapport with her and her parents. Fate has given me a good chance to get closer to her, I think I can progress here.
Date:25-April
SHE:
Today I met Shri finally after so many days. I thought he might be still angry about the coffee thing, but to my surprise, he was a bit tensed as to why I was not coming to the office. I explained him that daddy was seriously ill. He enquired about dad’s health and then simply changed the subject to turn my attention to somewhere else. He was just trying to take me out of the tension about dad’s health. He is such a mature guy, I knew he would understand.
Date: 20-May
SHE:
Shri and I have been going out for a long time now. I have started loving him. I think even he is serious about this relationship but he is younger than me and I don’t think he is ready for any commitment at this stage of his life, but mumma and dad are pursuing me for marriage; what should I do? Should I ask him?
Date: 22-May
SHE:
Shri told me today that he is leaving the company. He has got an admission to MBA in a College in Mumbai. It’s really difficult to be away from him at least for 2 years. Should I ask him for a relationship? Will he be ready for that or he just wants to wait till the completion of his MBA? But I can’t wait that much. I think I’ll better ask him straight about the commitment let’s see what he says.
Date: 23-May
Rajesh:
Today I proposed to her. She didn’t show any expressions as such on face and asked for some time to think about it, but I know she must have be just too happy for she had crush on me in our college life. I think she will say ‘yes’. Just that I need to confirm, that Shri doesn’t come in between. Everything should go smooth otherwise. Even her and my parents would not have any problem in fact they would be happy if she and I get into the most beautiful relationship.
HE:
Today she called me up and asked to meet for a coffee at our usual place, but later suddenly she called up to cancel the meeting. I don’t know why. She sounded stressed a bit on phone so I concluded it to be the result of work pressure. But when I saw her in the evening in the bus today, she was in a bit off-mood. I don’t know why. She then just held my hand. I think she wanted to say something but she was not able to. I couldn’t even understand what she wanted to say but I kept mum. When my stop came nearer, she released my hand. I asked her whether she was alright. She didn’t reply anything else than ‘yes, just fine’.
I tried calling her in the night after dinner, but she didn’t pick up. I think she must be stressed because of the work and must have slept early. I hope nothing is wrong. Oh god, please take care of her.
SHE:
Today was the most dreadful day for me. Rajesh proposed to me. My mood was off. I loved him in college but he didn’t seem to pay any attention to me. At times he literally avoided me. Later somehow I just managed to overcome that feeling. I loved him, but he didn’t. There are no conditions in love after all. I tried my best to forget feelings about him, at least suppress them. He never seemed to like me. Then why now? Has his feelings really changed? Or he is just playing games with me?
I was going to propose Shri today. It would have been the most crucial moment of my life and this guy, Rajesh just turned off my mood. I was literally shocked to hear from him. Not that I don’t like him but now that a couple of years have passed when we had no contact and even Shri is there in my life. Much water has flown down the bridge. I don’t know whether I still love him, and I also don’t know whether Shri is ready to have a commitment as such with me. I am just confused. Oh god, please help me. Show me some way. Why didn’t you device any automatic system to solve such problems?
GOD:
Automatic system? Wow!!! All these software engineers think alike. They think just the computerization of every system solves most of the related problems. But real life is not so simple. The real life is much more complex thing to handle. In arithmetic you have 1+1 =2; but in real life you may have 1+1 as anything but 2. That’s life.
About the automatic system to solve the real life problems, I have given you humans one such machine. Some call it heart, some mind or some just brain. I gave you the ability to think. You can take decisions based on your prior experience, your conscience and you can very easily use it to make decisions and I am sure even she will find out a way in this ambivalence because even if she does not trust my creations, I do.
Date: 24-May
SHE:
Yesterday after so many days I cried. I cried a lot. I was completely lost in dilemma. I was not able to think properly. What should I do? I loved Rajesh a couple of years ago but he didn’t, at that time. Now he loves me but I love Shri. Rajesh wants to settle down in life and he wants me to be with him. Shri has not planned something of that sort, he is just going to complete his MBA first and then will think of getting settled. Rajesh, he is of my age, very much mature; whereas Shri is younger, a bit of immature but that suits his age. Rajesh, my family knows him very well and will be ready perhaps eager to include him in as my husband; whereas Shri, I haven’t told anything about him to mom or dad yet.
But I love Shri a lot, probably more than I used to love Rajesh in college days. How should I make a decision? Based on feeling for love or based on my future, the practical aspects for my life? Where should I go? Oh god, please help me. I need you immensely. Please please, help me make the decision.
Date: 30-May
HE:
Last few days just flew past like a stormy wind. All those processes I had to undergo in order to leave the company, just because I wanted to pursue better career in MBA rather than staying here and stagnating. A few more days and I am off to achieve my dreams.
Just the problem is, I don’t want to leave her, my love, my secretary. I really love her. Since when my infatuation turned into love was unknown even to me. I don’t want to leave her but I can’t even stay here. Even I am doing MBA in Mumbai not even here in Pune. Will she wait for me for at least 2-3 years which I will need to complete MBA and get settled?
I have said goodbye to everyone, it was not that difficult; but it’s definitely not the same with her. I don’t know whether I will be able to say her goodbye and how I am going to do that.
SHE:
I have made my decision. I don’t know how to convey it but I will have to do it. One of the two hearts is going to get broken but there is no any other way. I have made my decision and I’ll stick to it. Oh god, please give me strength to convey the decision and then bear everything that follows...
Date: 19-June
SHE:
Today was Shri’s birthday and also his last day in Pune as well as in this company. He left in the evening for Mumbai. It was really a heartbreaking moment to see him parting, especially when both of us were completely aware that we might not see each other in future. I had made the decision; the only problem was how to convey it to him. I chose to be practical than just blind in love. People give you cool gifts on your birthday but what I gave him was just a shock, a damn big shock. He didn’t say anything except for ‘congrats’ and ‘good luck’ but his face told me everything he wanted to convey. I cried there standing in the whole crowd of his friends who had gathered to wish him luck and goodbye. He couldn’t cry out but if possible, he could just have wept then and there.
I said him sorry that I chose Rajesh over him. What he replied was surprising. He just replied, ‘No need to say sorry. It’s your life, you have complete right to make a decision and you are mature enough to do so and you have made a wise decision. We were friends and will be, but please don’t expect me to keep a contact with you. I loved you and I really loved you from the bottom of my heart. Now whenever I will think of you I will not have anything else than love in my mind and I think same might be the case with you; and that won’t be right especially when u will be a married woman; married to someone else. So this is our last meet. Thanks for the friendship and the feeling of love that you gave me. Best luck for your future life.’ And he just went inside the bus.
Was he so aloof or he just tried to sound so as not to make me feel worse about our parting? I think for all those days that I spent with Shri, I still couldn’t understand him properly. Anyways Shri, what the truth is that I loved you. I loved you like anything but the decision I made was based on practical aspects of life. My decision will prove to be better for both of us and I am damn sure of it. I had started writing diary since when I had seen you for the first time, now since you are not there in my life, I am going to discontinue this practice. This is the last page of my diary. Best luck Shri, for your future. Love you. Bbye.
HE:
This was the worst birthday of my life when I broke up with my love. It can’t be termed as a breakup as such but we parted; we parted forever with a promise not to cross the other’s life anytime in future. I felt like crying; but boys don’t cry, do they? Yes they cry, but secretly….and that’s why I am crying now. The whole page is wet because of my tears. Anyways this is the last page. I have decided not to write this diary anymore. This diary had come into my life with secretary, and since secretary is no more with me, what’s the purpose of this diary? Secretary, just wanted to say best luck for your future. I Love you. Bye.
SOME DIARY PAGES – 14... Concluding Part
Rajesh:
Finally, today is that lucky day for me. She said yes. I am so happy. She is mine. Finally my dream has come true. Oh God thanks a lot. You have made my day, in fact my life. Very few people get to live with someone they love; I am one of those lucky ones. My happiness has no bounds. I am very very happy today.
Shri left the company today, I don’t know whether we will be able to meet each other in future. I had gone to say good bye and wish good luck to him. He was talking to her. When I saw her face, I again felt some pain in my heart. Are they both having something? If so, why did she say Yes to me? Are they trying to cover-up something? Or is she playing games with me? Or am I coming as an odd between the two? I could see tears in Shri’s eyes when he left her and got into the bus. Her condition was no different, in fact she literally cried. She seemed to recover after a couple of minutes but the way she was looking somewhere into the vacuum, her face clearly was clearly telling her diligent attempts to control tears. Oh god, please show me the way. I hope I didn’t do anything wrong by proposing her.
The way they both were talking to each other didn’t show any sign of quarrel or fight between them. Then why they separated? Or they shared some feeling for each other and none of them just bothered to express it? Whatever the situation might be, she has said ‘yes’ to me; must be for some reason, whatever ; she is mine now. Shri is her past and she will forget him; in fact she will have to. Whatever the case may be, I love her and that’s it.
GOD:
Okay. Here is the end of this story, not a unique; in fact a very very common one. You might be expecting me to interfere in it at the eleventh hour and change the ending so that either; before the bus starts, She runs to the bus and gets into it and goes with Shri to Mumbai or probably when the bus is about to leave, Shri jumps out and hugs her or Rajesh feels something wrong and just takes her on bike and follows the bus just to stop it and make her get into the bus for Shri and so on? Nopes. This is not a Tamil film. This is a real life story and not a reel life one.
She took the decision wisely after evaluating each option she had. She had thought practically in every aspect. Won’t interference by me be just injustice to her thoughts? Won’t it be a betrayal to her trust that the option she chose is the best one? Won’t it be just a wrong deed on my side and that too just to please some others without any particularly sensible reason?
As I said, I have made this world with some predefined rules. The balance of this world totally depends on the events that are happening every now and then. No event is of more or less important than the other. Every moment, situation, event has some sort of purpose and so stands of equal importance. The purpose might not be directly related to you but it can also affect you indirectly. As said before, I had already decided not to intervene and I stuck to my word. Now you will say that it’s me only who decides everything ultimately. Yes. Indeed true but that’s what my point is. I decided her fate to be with Rajesh, that’s it. I hope you understand; in fact I am sure you will … again that’s what your fate says….

How am I feeling today ?

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Probably the last winter was the longest of all of them that i have witnessed in my whole life time. Generally winters have always been shorter for me because from childhood its been a tradition to prepare for exams during the winter. And during exams even long winters appeared to be too short just because we didnt have enough time to prepare for the exams. But this time it was something different. The winter had no such urgency to pass by. No exam fevers and no urgency. No deadlines and no work. Life had come to a stand still with loads of uncertainity with it.
For me getting back to blogging was a dream. its after this long winter hibernation that I am back to write down with blank mind. Its after those beautiful days at Kolkata that I am eagerly willing to write down with all my feelings on the blogspot platform. Whatever posts have come recently, have always come with a preoccupied thought or an intention to write on a particular thought.
Anyways lets start it now.
Lot of water has gone under the bridge in these few months. Transition from Kolkata life to Pune life was the most toughest job on my part. Somehow I am still in the process of trasition and would probably fail to completely do so. Efforts have always gone to take a release right from the beginning. But it has not yet materialised. Recently rays of hope appeared like a mirage and supposedly I am still under the same mirage effect expecting a release. Waiting for it desparately to fly back like a free bird. Feels like a lost bird searching for his homeland. It would definitely be a battle won when I get the release.
But somehow at work I have learnt a lot of things. Not technical stuff (though I can't deny that also) but the primary thing that I learnt here at work is Professionalism in IT Industry. The things that I learnt are -
1. How to write a short mail or even make it shortest.
2. Whom to mail and when.
3. How to play with To and Cc option.(Most important thing to have learnt that every professional must know how to handle and i suppose i have mastered this skill)
4. Never to use Bcc in office.
5. How to take con calls
6. What to speak and what not to speak on a call (though i am still in a learning phase for this case)
7. How to sip coffee during con calls.
8. How to handle issues. (not technical ones though)
9. How to keep smiling all the time and keep the anger under control.
10. How to reply to personal mails and keep chatting through mails even when u r dead busy.
11. Skill to use reply to all option in personal mails also.
12. How to bunk office as well.(greatest skill set aquired while on bench)
Look there are a dozen of things that i have learnt. Wanna learn what professional life is and how to handle it come to Pune. City of professionalism.
Spending the whole day inside my room and skipping prepared hot lunch may sound too strange. But yes, I didnt feel like. Reason not very sure. Well it was for the first time at Pune that I was there at home during the afternoon time on a holiday. At Kolkata we generally took not-so-deliciously-prepared-lunch-of-masi together on holidays at home. But today I wanted to be a share holder of that lunch once again. The worst part is when i start comparing everything with kolkata and then i am the worst. Not realising life can never be the same again.
Suffering from fever and mild cold, I preferred to stay indoor and take rest. Though I had no plans to do what I did the whole day, but definitely it helped me a lot. Did quite a lot of orkutting, logged into Yahoo Messenger and Gmail at a time and that too had a few chats. The feeling of getting back to old netting days came and went before I could restore it for long. Bit of self introspection and reliving the past memories. Albums, slambooks and few old songs that used to play every now and then on my media player were all removed out of dust. Giving life to few of relationships which also had gone into hibernation. Talks with Partha, Jyoti and Nammo for the time being could make me feel at home. Those college going guy's feeling and of course the unprofessional talks made the day.
Henceforth will try to keep track of few of the things -
1. Revive contacts with few lost friends like Himanshu, Pallavi and Swati being the first on the list.
2. Getting back to net life.( not the intranet life at office though)
3. Revive my own blogging spirit.
4. Keep up with my passion with radio which I had developed at Kolkata...luckily 92.7 here at Pune is now available and also up to the mark with respect to the other useless stations.
At the end of it all, feeling like a small balloon try to rise against the heavy load of the work pressure. Being connected with the passion and life that has always been a part of you is something very satisfying and heart warming.
Expecting the coming month to be a exciting one for quite a few reasons. Firstly Manish would be shifting to my flat for a month. Definitely that would be fun and may be my desire to go back to Kolkata would keep making me more desparate and broken with each effort going into waters while expecting a release. Secondly, the Malaysia trip for which I had been working hard since October which has finally materialized. A week of excitement and learning as well. Hoping to see some expectations getting fulfilled in that sense as well.
Few expectations which have never materialized till now would definitely keep haunting me though. Expectations from people without whom my life seems to be incomplete. There are few who are part of life and there are few without whom life can never be complete. Struggling to identify them and when it comes to expectations, I would prefer taking another day to come on that. May be I would be back tomorrow itself in my urge to being connected to my passion of writing.

Aisi Aankhein Nahin Dekhi

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Aisi aankhein nahin dekhi
Aisa kajal nahin dekha
Aisa jalwa nahin dekha
Aisa chehra nahin dekha

Jab yeh daman hawa de
Aag jungle main laga de
Jab yeh sehraon main jaye
Ret main phool khilaye

Aisi duniya nahin dekhi
Aisa manjar nahin dekha
Aisa aalam nahin dekha
Aisa dilbar nahin dekha

Uske kangan ka khanakna
Jaise bulbul ka chehakna
Uski paajeb ki cham cham
Jaise barsaat ka mausam

Aisa sawan nahin dekha
Aisi baaris nahin dekhi
Aisi rim jhim nahin dekhi
Aisi khwahish nahin dekhi

Uski bebak si baatein
Jaise sardi ki ho raatein
Uff yeh tanhayi yeh masti
Jaise toofan main kasti

Meethi koyal si hai boli
Jaisi geeton ki rangoli
Surkh gaalon pe pasina
Jaise babul ka mahina

Aisi aankhein nahin dekhi
Aisa kajal nahin dekha
Aisa jalwa nahin dekha
Aisa chehra nahin dekha


The NAMESAKE

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

The Namesake !!
This word is self explanatory. The book was a great piece of work. Not to forget the movie either. The movie very well portrays the true picture of 1970s depicting the difference in social life at India and at US. Well I wont get into the movie and the review but the reason why I thought of writing about this is that this movie has quite a few resemblances to my life as well. though not in exact sense but definitely the way the love of parents has been worked upon gives the sense of reality.
There was a scene in the movie where Irfan(dad) takes his son Gogol(in childhood) to the sea shore and then to the dead end whr the stones meet the sea. The way Irfan has gone through the scene and the emotions that were pouring through the whole sequence I could nt stop imagining my child hood. It was for the first time that I realized what family means to me. Being far away from home I had never ever missed home and i was comfortably living my life except missing bhubaneswar and my friends. But when it came to my own family it was never missed cause being i always took it for granted. Anyone who has watched the movie would definitely feel wat i amd talking about. The perfect story to open ones eyes. Currently Dad,Mom,Sis and me all are at four different places and quite similar to the movie and I being Gogol though not in complete sense. But yeah I definitely hardly bothered abt my family.
This movie touched so much deep into my heart that my thoughts have changed and for the first time i missed my family a lot and wished if i could get into my childhood once again start living those beautiful moments once again. each and every moment of childhood flash before my eyes as if it was a movie running in front of my eyes.
It was 17thAugust night which I would hardly forget in my whole lifetime.
Frankly speaking I had never sent a miss u sms or a card to dad or mom or sis, but it was on this night that i sent miss u message to all three of them and I know they too realized how deeply I missed them because i did something which i never did earlier.All i can say is that the movie shows how the Russian Author Gogol changed the life of Irfan but here Irfan has definitely brought about a change in me. There is no doubt about it.
Namesake is a must watch for someone who wants to realize what family means and what children mean to their parents. What the parents undergo in bringing up their children and how its too late wen in fact we start realizing.
Lots of changes have come in these few days and that's why I have said earlier in my blog that i have seen life so much in these days which i have never seen in my lifetime.
May this change come for the GOOD !

PARZANIA - unfolding the truths of life

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Parzania - just the word would suffice if you have gone through it.
I'm speechless and what's going through the mind is nothing but words,words that hold the truths of life. Never expected that a movie can change my idealogies and my complete thought process.
Gandhi never had been the one I supported. Non-violence was never my cup of tea. But violence was never witnessed too. The whole events that had taken place in Godhra and the whole of Gujarat, never bothered me and I never took an avid interest in it because it didnt occur to me. I knew lives were lost,people were butchered and innocence was massacred. An eye for an eye has engulfed the whole world. But I was unmoved.
But this picturization has such true aspects which has opened my eyes to the truths. Violence for any reason is never a solution. Thats the biggest lesson that I learnt. Godhra was no doubt a cowardly act by the people who wanted to disrrupt the peace, but the retaliation was never the solution. Moved by the violence in the movie I just can't imagine the reality. The actual happening can never be felt unless witnessed by yourself. The pain, the outcry and the blood were enough for one to experience what it would have meant to the people who were affected.
We watched news, read newspapers and discussed but our lives moved on smoothly. But there are people whose life would never get smooth. They have lost. And the most pathetic part in all this is the government. The sole responsibility of the situation is of the Government. U can't claim to have brought back life to normal having provided compensation. We are not talking of tables, chairs or furnitures. God damn we are talking of people, the lives. How can you compensate dat with just some ransome?
The government could have easily stopped it but it turned blind eye. And for the first time I hate being a Hindu. I hate myself because I have had this feeling that the sangh is working for the people. But how come ?? By the sangh I mean the VHP, RSS and also the political form of it as BJP. But that does not mean that the other parties are good enough. Where was the opposition party when this all occurred. I know its all vague to discuss it now or to question when it has all died out. But we still need to find the solution to it. The whole system has been politicised and sold in the name of religion. Religion should be one's reason to live and survive but not to kill. Any act of terror is always a act against your own religion.
But after all this, were the true culprits caught and punished ? I can still see the government of Gujarat living its happy life and the most unbelievable thing is that how could the same person be re-elected after the state has seen so much ? Is it that people have gone blind eye or the whole process of election was also manipulated ? But the bottom line is that violence is no solution. And somehow now I feel Gandhi was never wrong with his ways of nonviolence. Definitely he must have been strong enough to practise it when the whole country was being killed and cruelity was on the peak. But nonviolence and non co-operation have definitely earned the freedom. But why dont we realise it with such instances from history. Godhra and the after effects would no doubt be a black spot but should also be a learning lesson for one and all. And those who are taking the path to violence should give it a try and at least watch Parzania before leaping into the fire. What Parzania has shown, hardly anyother movie has done that.
Rahul Dholakia has done a great job by making this movie closest to reality though reality is not even one percent of it. But each move and scene has been very thoughfully carved out and not to forget the superb performance by all the actors and the actresses with special mention of Naseeruddin Shah and Sarika.
The under current of the movie is the sacrifices that parents give for their children. A child is more than anything else in the whole world for a father/mother. Naseeruddin's expressions make u feel like a dad and u can very well imagine yourself in his position and I hope I become someone like the character dat Naseeruddin played.
Life is so different from what we see and a single event can change one's whole life and it would never be the same ever. There are greater meanings to life than just coffee and sitting idle at home and enjoying a news in the news channels which have been commercialised too.
Awake and Act.

Do Relationships Decay ?

4 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

A thought which struck me long back. But I wanted to think on it first. And somehow today while interacting with a friend I got to hear something called boredom in relationships. A nice question asked - What if a relationship gets bored which is perfectly on the right track ? Everything is well and fine but what if someone feels bored and finds no 'Charm' in the relationship. That was tricky. My instant answer was then how do people marry and they don't get bored and continue to live life together till end. I still feel that its just the effect of western culture thats affecting our thought process. Someone would not have found this question a decade back. When it comes to relationship commitment is the key ingredient. Its not that we get into a relationship for our own self. I feel its for both the persons. this used to be the scenario before. But now any relationship you consider thr is a selfish reason. Thats our expectations and our own interest in it. Once our interest and expectations are fulfilled we feel the boredom. Is it natural or we keep expecting more and more which makes it boring and monotonous ? Arent we expecting too much from our relationships ???? Are we seriously looking for each other's happiness ? Are we getting into a materialistic world ???? All these questions tend to answer my own question " Do Relationships Decay".
Now coming to my very own question, I feel that every relationship comes with an expiry date. The moment the date ie the period expires the relationship starts to decay. Exactly like our Planet or a Star does. The decay may be spontaneous or very gradual which may not appear. But there is this decay that exists. I am not speaking of only one type of relationship. What I am talking of is every kind of relationship, may it be marriage, friendship, brotherhood, child-parent or even the kind that can't be named(which come at different level,something between love and friendship) . We can say it to be losing the charm or getting boredom. It may not be only materialistic reason for such decay. As we move on in life and we meet different people, our own thought process changes. Our requirements change. Our environment change. The same people with whom we used to be so close seem to be quite incapable of understanding out plight. Or we tend to lose our own sharing ability. We meet new people who belong to our own environment who can be more comfortable with. The comfort level is what matters. Slowly but steadily every relationship, even the ones we think is immortal starts to decay.
And who is it to be blamed for such occurance ? Is it we. Is it our selfish attitude. Is it our needs which change. I would prefer considering it to be time. Time changes everything. Even our needs. Well our environment too plays a critical role in this process. Another thing is our tight schedule and our busy life which leaves us with no time to analyse such changes and gives us no time to set everything right and to stop the process of decay.
Previously I used to be quite bothered when I used to lose contact or find that there exists no more the same kind of intimacy with people who mattered a lot in my life. I used to take it quite seriously and feel lost. Now I look back and find that every relationship that I used to be in, has changed with time. And its quite drastic too. Beginning from my own family members to my friends and even to my foes. The intensity of hatred that I used to have for some foe or person has decreased and I can say that I dont even consider him/her to be a foe anymore. It hardly matters whether he/she exists or not, whose existence on the surface of earth was a big botheration for me some years back !!
Same is the case with my friends and family too. Many people who mattered to me a lot, are no more in contact though they still matter a lot in my life. But its just that the process of decay has changed everything. It definitely hurts to look back and find that so much has changed. I wish I could get back to that time and make up everything the way it were. But that's not possible.
Well, now I feel that I need to accept each change. I need to look ahead to the new relationships that are waiting to be made. I need not stop and I should let life play its role. The best thing we can do is play our part best in any relationship, give in our best efforts to build it and be happy that it occurred. And regarding the past lost relationships we should again be happy that it was our part to be played and we played well and gave our 100 percent efforts. And that which was destined took place and we are at a better place. Here comes the true beleif in God, the supreme Power who regulates every action of ours and my faith increases on "Jo hota hai achhe ke liye hota hai".
I can thus watch each of my relationship decaying slowly but steadily. The watch is On !

Tears

3 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

Tears have always made me feel relax.It may seem dat I m weak at heart but whenever I have felt heavy at heart and unable to take on the stress specially emotionally I prefer to have some tears.Yes I agree that its something rediculous but few drops of it give me more of strength than without it.I dont knw why but tears bring out all dat is within u .With its salty taste it gives u the strength to bear all dat is more sour than the tears.Dont knw but tears are definitely a great healer. When u feel completely lost and want to cry as a child but there is not enuff tears in the eyes then in such circumstances think of the moments in life from ur past that have really hurt u a lot and then tears would come into ur eyes and make u feel relaxed.Yes this is no joke.Just try it and u wud feel wht u hv gained by just dropping few of them.As if a big burden has been given away.
Its all my experience with so many of such circumstances.And i have alwaz believed that tears are never a sign of our weakness.A person who can drop tears is the strongest person on the face of earth coz he has the guts to accept the truth when he is hurt,when he wants to have something desparately,one who is not ashamed of himself and one who has really lost.If u cant drop ur tears then u r nt strong enuff to accept the truth.Tears are nothing but the burst of emotions.
Why have I said so much tears.Because I have cried coz I m not ashamed of myself or I m not at all afraid of the circumstances.
I feel !
I m Human !!

Tears are never the signs of weakness rather they show a person's strength to express emotions.
-Abhisek
(My Patent...stop piracy :P)

Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey by William Wordsworth

1 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

This is a Poem written by Wordsworth which I consider to be one of the best from Him.Look at the way he symbolises things.It has two parts.The first part deals with the scenic beauty of the place and the second part deals with what life is.How teh place has been alwayz been within his memory and how it inspired him to enjoy the ultimate happiness.The second part makes me feel way he would have.I always start relating to such a place where I had been in my childhood days.But this poem had left a mark in me when I had gone through it in my 12th.Glad dat we had it in our course den.

Lines Composed a Few Miles above
Tintern Abbey
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
on revisting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour,July 13,1798
Five years have past: five summers, with the length
Of five long winter ! and again I hear
These waters,rolling from their mountain-springs
With a soft inland murmur:-Once again
Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs,
That on a wild secluded scene impress
Thoughts of more deep seclusion; and connect
The landscape with the quite of the sky.
The day is come when I again repose
Here, under this dark sycamore, and view
These plots of cottage-ground, these orchard-tufts,
Which at this season, with their unripe fruits,
Are clad in one green hue, and lose themselves
'Mid groves and copses.Once again I see
These hedge-rows, hardly hedge-rows, little lines
Of sportive wood run wild: these pastoral farms,
Green to the very door; and wreaths of smoke
Sent up, in silence, from among the trees!
With some uncertain notice, as might seem
Of vagrant dwellers in the houseless woods,
Or of some Hermit's cave,where by his fire
The Hermit sits alone.
These beauteous forms,
Through a long absence, have not been to me
As is a landscape to a blind man's eye:
But oft, in lonely rooms, and 'mid the din
Of towns and cities, I have owed to them
In hours of weariness, sensation sweet,
Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart;
And passing even into my purer mind,
With tranquil restoration:-feelings too
Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,
As have no slight or trivial influence
On that best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered, acts
Of kindness and of love. Nor less, I trust,
To them I may have owed another gift,
Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood
In which the burthen of the mystery,
In which the heavy and the weary weight
Of all this unintelligible world,
Is lightened;- that serene and blessed mood,
In which the affections gently lead us on,
Until, the breath of this corporeal frame
And even the motion of our human blood
Almost suspended, we are laid asleep
In body, and become a living soul:
While with an eye made quite by the power
Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,
We see into the life of things.

Tujhse Naraz Nahin Zindegi - Lyrics

0 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

This was the song i had been listening to for the last four hours!still feel like listening it more n more.
Each part so well made dat i hardly can write anything more today....just listen to it.Awesome !!
tujhse naraz nahin zindegi
hairan hun main, ho hairan hun main
tere masoom sawalon se
pareshan hun main, ho pareshaan hun main(2)

jeene ke liye socha hi nahin
dard sambhalane honge(2)
muskuraen toh muskurane ke
karz utarne honge
muskuraon kabhi toh lagta hai
jaise hoton pe karz rakha hai

tujhse naraz nahin zindegi
hairan hun main, ho hairan hun main

zindegi tere gam ne hame
ristey naye samjhaye(2)
mile jo hame
dhoop main mile
choan ke thande saaye

tujhse naraz nahin zindegi
hairan hun main, ho hairan hun main

aaj agar bhar aayi hain
boonde baras jayengi(2)
kal kya pata inke liye
aankhein taras jayengi
jane kab gum hua kahan khoya
ek aansoon chupa ke rakha tha

tujhse naraz nahin hai zindegi
hairan hun main, ho hairan hun main
tere masoom sawalon se pareshan hun main
ho parshan hun main
parshan hun main parshan hun main
Click away to download the two versions....one by Lata n The other by Anup Ghoshal.
Both of dem cud do justice to the song.

The TREE !!

1 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

We have our midsems beginning tomorrow.But what am i doing here right now....its midnight and i should have been at my bed as i had been doing this for the last three years.But whts wrong today ?
Have i not completed my portion for tomorrow's paper?...
if dats not the case den wht is the thing which made me awake....is it that i m nt sleepy ?
yes i m sleepy n damn tired....but den why am i here ?
Well thr is a reason which made me came to my blog.At noon today as i was just going through my books and was trying hard to concentrate something just flashed in me...there was an urgency to write down...wht was dat i too didn't knw untill i started writing...i rushed for the pen n just tore out few papers from the lying notepad which had nt been used for months probably.
Then i went on and on penning down all that came to my mind.Surprisingly it was a TREE.

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A Tree standing alone on the dry deserted road side with no leaves or the bright shade which used to be a travellers delight.There are no more travellers on the road.The road waits for someone to travel,to come along it and be a company both to the Tree and itself(the road).
The Tree even does not have within, that something, which could give many of those lone travellers the company,the feeling of support and a place to rest for the rest of life.The Tree has lost its green, hasj only the dry trunk standing straight as if aspiring to touch the sky !!
Sigh !!
Seems to be just a hope.A dry hope.
The purpose is lost.People have left since the Tree is left with nothing to give.Why are people so selfish? Was the Tree only there to be used ?
It was made to be used and thrown into darkness of the dry scorching Sun.The Tree has lost its purpose but still stands there with no visible aim seen for the future. "why am I here? Whats my aim? Served others but none serve me!! Was this my destiny" cries the Tree, but none to hear...
The Tree survived all this and then the season changed.Hopes high for the Tree to have a companion, another visitor, another traveller to give shade to ; ready to be there for others anytime.But hardly does it realise that it will again be used , used till it sucks, and raped hundred of times and then would be left alone on the same road side when it sheds in the autumn.But this time he does not have the strenght to gain the green.Does not have that great a shade now.New trees have come along, with fresh vigour, denser shade and a promising support system with all new appeal to the travellers.Now no one needs Me(The Tree).
People's choices, needs have changed and also their priorities.May be they just don't need a good shade, a good tree but something more.A more fruitful tree bearing better fruits,serving better in every way; its other features which are not possible for this Tree to furnish.
And Sigh !!! No one needs Me now : I have nothing to give.Then why exist ? Why not leave the world ? Why keep waiting for the end to come. Come, Come and cut my left part - the trunk and finally that would also be of some Use to you.
Waiting to be slaughtered.To feel the all new sharpened edge of the axe, the sweet echoing sound of it touching my torn out body, to feel the pain which would give the never ending happiness that i've Served.
Come soon before its too late and even the trunk dies.Please come soon since I wanna be Used for the last and final time. - The Tree

Lost and Alone

2 broke the Silence...wen wud U?

I m Lost....lost in what;which i even dont know.

I dont know why i dont feel like doing those things which i loved the most....music is no more playing in my player, riding my scooty is no more a great pleasure, sharing thoughts with my best friend was never tuff before as now.Living in an illusion n a shell n feeling like the smaller it is the better it is.But whats the illusion even i dont know.Running from the fact dat i m a failure perhaps.Where is dat positive skills n mind set now?Is it that i lack perseverance.Never loved silence.But thats what is making me feel better.

It was never one of my characteristics.May b this is what is called maturity.I know this isnt the case.But if at all this means maturity den i beg not to attain this.I was better what i was before.I have lost my words.I have changed.I know this was nt expected so soon but may b was necessary.

I m lonely though people are around me all d time.Feeling this in my guts as if i have nothing left in me.I know this hardly matters to anyone but still feeling to write it out here.

Dont know wht is it but wanna to be all alone
Alone under the dark sky,
as dark as the world to me now.

Alone with my soul in the eternal bliss
Bliss with the feeling of being an Unit
Not even the presence of my own self,
giving rise to a redundancy of that Ultimate Bliss!

Alone for all years to come
alone for i have chosen
Chosen to be Alone.

Alone to be only with my tears
Tears that were born only for me
not knowing why i need to be alone

But its the desire burning in me
to be alone so that the silence prevails
Silence that is only...
Only meant to be alone!