Nostalgic

Exams are over n I had nt posted for many days out here.Dunno the reason why i did nt.But yes the day exams got over I could feel dat yes we r done and only one sem is left out in this engg career.
I still remember the last day of 2nd sem xam when Anu came and just was too excited about the fact dat we were no more juniors and we wud b in 2nd year.

The Seniors !!

Seeing her excitement i had said her dat how these 8 sems wud end we too wont know...and then all felt this guy is alwaz senti.I too didnt think much den just because there was amost 4 years for us.I too could not visualise this day when we wud b at the doorstep of final walk.
Huh.....wht m I doing....why so nostalgic !!

Things have changed a lot within dese four years.

I m really nostalgic.Having the feeling of getting back to old days.I wish I cud rewind all dat has happened and see thru....the past...
kehte hain jo beet gyaa so beet gaya.Lekin aise kaise beet jane de jab sari jndegi ke woh haseen pal kaid hon usi main?
But the last semw ud fly by and there is no doubt abt it....and on top of that we have more than a month gap.Dont understand why do the coll remains closed for so long.Have nt met any of the friends since long.realinsing how it wud b after six months when we all wud b placed in our respective places.
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But as we move on in life we meet different people.And we really meet them late who had been missing in your life.U start realising that may b God wants us to meet few wrong people before meeting the the right one.And then i too have a philosophy in life.I feel the person whom i meet late is the one who will stay with me for long and till late...may b thats wht is turning out to b true.
I have started evaluating people and thats nt the right thing to do.But yes i have to.I really had to.Coz i need to find out who all wud stay wid me forever n who wont.This the really too tuff to accept that a few of them will only stay.And the most hurting thing is that those wont b there who were always expected to b thr.And then life gets tuff.
But did I ever say that I hv never have any expectations from anyone? True....I never expect....thats the best policy.
Expectations are never fulfilled.But when did I start expecting from people around me?.And may b most critical question is why did I !!

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Another thing has been bothering me for quite a long time.Do we really need to meet people to know them better ? Is it that we cant knw them without having a look at them ? Shud we not trust someone just blindly ?
Yes I hv !! Seems too different and may be many of my friends may reject this thought n may say that i hv been a fool doing so.But when I hv never got wht i expected then how can they complain and give such statements ? Dont they realise wht they have done to me ?
Why do people never understood wht they did ? Dont they have the guts to accept the truth ?
Come on hit me hard and say it to me.Have it in you to accept wht all u have done ?
If not then just fuck off !

Experience of CAT 2006

CAT 2006 format:
Two and half hours the time limit.
Three sections.
25 questions in each section.
So total 75 questions only.
Each one carrying 4 marks.Incorrect answer incurs a negative mark.
Five choices for each question(first time in CAT).
English section was tuff limited to only RC but no grammar and other stuff.
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Nothing to lose!!

This was my attitude before appearing the test.But slowly when I went through the paper, a kind of guilt built in.i could see it take birth.Tried to cut it and kill it.I have always believed "Never regret for what you do".But somewhere in the corner of my heart it(the guilt and regret) is still being nurtured.The words of Prachi flashed like a lightening "Abhisek do it else u would repent".
The paper was relatively easy if the natural level of CAT is taken into cnsideration.I could solve quite easily many of the problems with ultimate ease and could not believe that I was sitting in CAT 2006.But could not do everything well since my preparation was not 100%.For the first time I felt,had I prepared upto my standards then it was not that tuff.Yes may seem to be foolish and idiotic and weird and few may even come harsh to me complaining why didn't I,but I couldn't.Thats my fault.Now I feel,I should have.But again,its not yet over.XAT still round the corner.Looking forward to it.And yes I will give it my BEST !!
Just watch...

The Wait Is Over Now...

The Day End.The end of an Era !!
Seems like it has been days, months and years that I had been waiting for the day.Lot of things went by and occurred may be for this day.Just prayed at each step dat this day goes well and may be all shall be back to normal after this day.Life had changed for few months just for this day in mind.May be I was least bothered about my performance in CAT O6.Was never serious.But it was for some reason, of great importance to m.One hurdle crossed.Many to be crossed.Had been waiting to patiently for this day to come and bring with it all those beautiful old days.I could again see that carefree smile, the childhod back in action.The life without botheration is what I had waited for these long months and seriously I was not dissappointed.
Just the way I had dreamt of !!
i hope this brings all that my heart had been longing for>quite sure that slowly everything will fall in place.

Tears

Tears have always made me feel relax.It may seem dat I m weak at heart but whenever I have felt heavy at heart and unable to take on the stress specially emotionally I prefer to have some tears.Yes I agree that its something rediculous but few drops of it give me more of strength than without it.I dont knw why but tears bring out all dat is within u .With its salty taste it gives u the strength to bear all dat is more sour than the tears.Dont knw but tears are definitely a great healer. When u feel completely lost and want to cry as a child but there is not enuff tears in the eyes then in such circumstances think of the moments in life from ur past that have really hurt u a lot and then tears would come into ur eyes and make u feel relaxed.Yes this is no joke.Just try it and u wud feel wht u hv gained by just dropping few of them.As if a big burden has been given away.

Its all my experience with so many of such circumstances.And i have alwaz believed that tears are never a sign of our weakness.A person who can drop tears is the strongest person on the face of earth coz he has the guts to accept the truth when he is hurt,when he wants to have something desparately,one who is not ashamed of himself and one who has really lost.If u cant drop ur tears then u r nt strong enuff to accept the truth.Tears are nothing but the burst of emotions.

Why have I said so much tears.Because I have cried coz I m not ashamed of myself or I m not at all afraid of the circumstances.

I feel !

I m Human !!

Tears are never the signs of weakness rather they show a person's strength to express emotions.
-Abhisek
(My Patent...stop piracy :P)

Dream Date With Microsoft

Dream Come True!!! :dated 9th Nov'06
Well it was a dream come true day....dream company and wht more can a person ask from life.Beautiful experience and life long one too...Tried my best....But the Good news is dat i m not leaving CTS....cant leave the first comp of my life.Could not clear the written...But the written was very easy but just dont knw whr did i go wrong.Well it was also tuff enuff as only 21 got thru written out of 160 appeared....dat too clearing written with a day's notice was really tuff....bt yes had the confidence dat if i wud have cleared written den i wud hv definitely got thru....dats a diff story altogether...Anyways still happy dat i gave a try...looking forward to CTS !!

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Towards Our Destination

Jab hamari manzil ek ho,aur chahe ham do alag rahon(tracks) main hi kyun na chal rahe hon,aisa bilkul lagta nahin ke ham alag chal rahe hain.It seems, we both are on the same track marching forward to the same goal and same destination.
But today we both were walking together side by side on the same track under the same moon light.Seemed as if we both are heading to the same destination.But the fact was something else.Initially I was quite apprehensive in accepting the truth.But soon I realised, though we are on the same path but our destinations are different now.We have our own ways of life.
I may not forget this day when we were walking down to our destinations, but I would always remember all those days when we were heading to our common goals on the different tracks: You on Yours and I on My.

We never got the chance to walk along the same path but when we did our destination was different.

The eternal dance of light and darkness

The breeze could not enter my room. How could it, when it was closed to the outer world? I don't know how long I've remained indoors. It's been quite sometime now.

My room has a large window facing East. Peeping through it, I could've seen the mud-road that leads to the river bank. By straining my neck a bit to the right, I could've had a glimpse of the temple tower over which pigeons perch. Looking up, I could've also seen the dancing branches of the old Banyan tree that witnesses the entire process of my being.

"Are they still there?" I ask myself. Sitting in the darkness of my dingy room, I can often hear children's laughter, a mother's lullaby, the pitter patter of rain drops, the clang of the temple bell, the sweep of the wind and rustling sound of dry leaves and the entreaty of beggars. Should I open the window? Should I let in the breeze, and allow the light and air to pour into my room? These questions might appear ridiculous. Nevertheless, they're important considering the circumstances which compelled me to slam the door behind me. For, when it comes to light and darkness, I've always favoured the latter.

Darkness is heavy like a blanket. And it's ugly. It's frightening, too. It makes me droopy and sleepy. All the colours, all the movements, in fact, everything that represents life, stems out of light, my friends would argue. "Would light be so bright in the absence of darkness? It's in its lap we sleep and dream. It's from its lap we again wake up afresh; to realise all those dreams which we've been nurturing. Then, how can you call it ugly and frightening?

The debate went on. I stuck to darkness. They, to light. At one point, they asked me, "If you detest light so much, would you blank it out from your life completely by staying behind closed doors?" My instincts took up the challenge. But, with the passage of time, I thought I would soon succumb to the temptations that came from the world of light.

I remove the mirror from the wall. Lips dry, skin supple, eyes lacklustre, cheeks sagging, teeth yellowish, tongue heavy, nails brittle, joints creaky, I must appear pale and sick, though in the darkness, I could not see my reflection. "Are they right? Is darkness death? Is light alone life and beautiful?" I ask myself.

The Sun might have receded in the distant horizon; beyond all the oceans and mountains. Or who knows, it might have dawned, too, from the abysmal bottom of its cavern. For, my time no longer was 'relatable' to the time of the world of light. As thoughts got unleashed like drunken horses, somewhere in between, intoxication put me to sleep. It was then I saw the real colour of death. No, it wasn't dark. It was just colourless. It all happened when, after a bitter stand-off, light and darkness decided to recede into their respective regions to make their absence conspicuous. Or, at least, I thought so. The result was comic. For, as the fading light unveiled a blanket darkness, the darkness that dissipated brought in fresh beams of light.

I awoke startled. But, by then, I knew I had lost the debate. So had my friends. "Was it a dream?" I asked myself. "How does it matter?" the answer, too, sprang from within. For, now I know it's light and darkness which make the canvas of life. Death occurs when both are not — in a colourless state. With this realisation, as I open the window in a hurry, the soft rays of the rising sun begin to gently wash over my dark room.

By:T S SREENIVASA RAGHAVAN

Courtesy:The Speaking Tree(TOI)

Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey by William Wordsworth

This is a Poem written by Wordsworth which I consider to be one of the best from Him.Look at the way he symbolises things.It has two parts.The first part deals with the scenic beauty of the place and the second part deals with what life is.How teh place has been alwayz been within his memory and how it inspired him to enjoy the ultimate happiness.The second part makes me feel way he would have.I always start relating to such a place where I had been in my childhood days.But this poem had left a mark in me when I had gone through it in my 12th.Glad dat we had it in our course den.

Lines Composed a Few Miles above

Tintern Abbey

WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

on revisting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour,July 13,1798

Five years have past: five summers, with the length

Of five long winter ! and again I hear

These waters,rolling from their mountain-springs

With a soft inland murmur:-Once again

Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs,

That on a wild secluded scene impress

Thoughts of more deep seclusion; and connect

The landscape with the quite of the sky.

The day is come when I again repose

Here, under this dark sycamore, and view

These plots of cottage-ground, these orchard-tufts,

Which at this season, with their unripe fruits,

Are clad in one green hue, and lose themselves

'Mid groves and copses.Once again I see

These hedge-rows, hardly hedge-rows, little lines

Of sportive wood run wild: these pastoral farms,

Green to the very door; and wreaths of smoke

Sent up, in silence, from among the trees!

With some uncertain notice, as might seem

Of vagrant dwellers in the houseless woods,

Or of some Hermit's cave,where by his fire

The Hermit sits alone.

These beauteous forms,

Through a long absence, have not been to me

As is a landscape to a blind man's eye:

But oft, in lonely rooms, and 'mid the din

Of towns and cities, I have owed to them

In hours of weariness, sensation sweet,

Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart;

And passing even into my purer mind,

With tranquil restoration:-feelings too

Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,

As have no slight or trivial influence

On that best portion of a good man's life,

His little, nameless, unremembered, acts

Of kindness and of love. Nor less, I trust,

To them I may have owed another gift,

Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood

In which the burthen of the mystery,

In which the heavy and the weary weight

Of all this unintelligible world,

Is lightened;- that serene and blessed mood,

In which the affections gently lead us on,

Until, the breath of this corporeal frame

And even the motion of our human blood

Almost suspended, we are laid asleep

In body, and become a living soul:

While with an eye made quite by the power

Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,

We see into the life of things.