Silence Kills, Speak Up

Silence can be deceptive. Speak up, you may never get a chance to say what you wanted to.

Stupid Me !!

Things seem to be so simple and wht a stupid m I in concluding things so quickly.I really sometimes wonder why do i come to conclusions so quick !! And everytime I conclude something or other I just think of my blog and the thing dat wud go into it related to dat conclusion.The way i wud put it,the way i wud start and all blah blah blah.I just create my blog in the mind and wish I was at the laptop to jot down whatever i feel at that particular moment.
But sigh !!
Dats not alwaz possible.
Diwali Day !!
First Conclusion :
The day is fabulous.Beautiful morning.Complete chutti from work and regular activities.Ideal break one can wish for after such a long week.Visit to friend's place and purchase of fire crackers for the perfect firework in the evening.
Second Conclusion (not exactly a conclusion but a sort of realisation) :
Diyas !!
Deepak !!
They r the perfect example of a person's life.They can teach u a lot.Just need to have a look at them.Observe right from the beginning dat it is lighted and the fabulous flame growing just like a baby.
In the process of lighting dem in the evening i could feel how nice it is to create something.The flame,the light,the child.For the first time i could feel how great it must be to be a dad.How gentle a just born child wud be ! How caring we need to be to nurture and protect our siblings.How amazing it must have been to be a father.How proud u feel when u r a dad and when u r successful in growing ur child where u want dem to be.This all feeling came to me as i went on lighting diyas one by one.Giving brith to a new life.A new world.That which could not manage to sustain its own weight(the flame i m talking of ) ,that which has no existence of its own without my support, wud very soon give light to the world.Remove all darkness and bring in all dat happiness which we aspire for.
I also realised dat nothing happens so easily.A diya which promises to enlighten everything and be a great warrior against the darkness,also has to take time to come upto its potential.It is potent enuff to do so.But it also needs time.It too has to struggle against all odds.I could see dat everytime I lit a diya it was not suddenly dat it got into its actual form.It too takes time.When the light itself takes time to come up why do we being just humans want everything to be done instantly.Why do we want to achieve everything without doing anything and any struggle? That everything has tto undergo a natural and gradual process.We need to give in our hundred percent.
The diya gives happiness and light to all.But what does it get?Its own base is in darkness.Burns itself for otehrs just to get nothing for itself.We too need to be selfless and now I just remember one of my friends saying me "bas social work and service kar....kya milta hai? doosron ka kaam hi bas karta reh..."
I can just say that I would still go ahead with my social service or whatever u name it just for the reason dat i wud never aspire to get anything in return.I dont expect anything.Its just my pleasure.
Third Conclusion :
A good news and what can i ask for.A perfect gift on diwali.A friend's personal life which had been so unsure and the guilt with which she used to be in has finally come to an end.A fullstop !
Hats off to her to b so courageous and to accept all truth and face it before her family.Hope everything goes fine with her from now on.
Final Conclusion ( A setback ) :
How is it dat my deartest friend forgot to wish me.How can he be so rude.How did he behave so indifferent.First time he hurt me.I too did.I had to. Things got serious.Can he be such ? Its the Influence of his friends. He has become so insensible and has gone away from me.I have lost a good friend.He has to b sory for all dat he did.The whole day is a waste.Nothing is good.It was the worst time i ever had.What will i expect from others when its him who could do this.
This is really stupid of me to have come to such conclusions in just a day.
Can I be more composed and stable?
Am I so imbalanced with my thoughts and feelings?
Shud i be more stable ?
Should I give time to all dat happens around me?
To speak frankly all these four questions have only a single answer which is a YES !
I cant derive things so easily.How can I hurt my own friend?I accept that i was rude enuff.I didnt take his words lightly which he never meant seriously.He was joking definitely as i m very sure.I should not have disconnected the call and switched off the mobile.I was bit hyper with my approach.He was not right but I was also not right in my behavior.I m guilty and I will have to sort out the things tomorrow.Have to say sorry so many times which i too dont know what will be the final count of it. Hehe !!
I m such an idiot and a fool.I m just a Stupid u See !!

6 broke the Silence...wen wud U?: (+add yours?)

neha said...

just amazingly beautiful post. really liked the part where u wrote abt flame as a child, and sure, u are't weak/stupid/fool, u r a sweet friend and a sweeter human being, and I'm not lying. stay writing/smilin.

Anonymous said...

Hey there!!... what happened now?

At first I thought u meant me... but i don't find things the way you have said.. Hope that dear friend wasn't me...coz I sincerely cant tolerate that I hurt you.. It would really be the first time for me.

What i wanted to appreciate has already been taken care of by Neha..

Your next blog should be quicker...Can't keep expecting for one month again..

parul said...

i read it yest, and 2day i read it again!
ur posts hav so so many shades 2 em, that ven i think f commentin, i rili cant think f 1 thng 2say!
yes, i did like d idea f a new born flame and a new life!..and also al d other conclusions..i also love diwali, for similar reasons!
aaj i read outside the church
'sunlight is the shadow of God', and i loved it, so thot ll share it vid ya!
ur not stupid!no!who says?!
hehe..keep writin :)

Anonymous said...

gar kisi purush me thode stree ke gun aa jate hain to wo devta ban jata hai ...kisi ne kaha tha ...

nvr loose tis feminine dimension in ur aura....

ppl ll keep revolvin arnd u...

dnt reply here i wont come again... :) stranger.

Divya said...

Yes, I agree!!
You are just a stupid but you should keep doing these stupid things


Abhi said...

Well, I am reading this post of mine after so long and I really can't agree any more than now to the thoughts I had while this post was written. How stupid I had really been. How amazing it must be to create life What timing it is to read it when my sister gave birth to a princess couple of days back.