Recent Me !!

Long time and no posts.
hmmmmmmmmmm...

It must have made many wonder whats wrong.But things are really not bad.Just keeping my nerves and thoughts under a shield.Not for any specific reason.But yeah definitely i have been trying to practice detachment in my life.I am slowly n steadily getting into my own self,the one I was four years back.Least bothered about anybody excepting a few.Just enjoying my life with all dat is coming along my way.no expectations....nothing at all.And dat is wht has made me happier.Taking life as it comes to me.

Recent Happenings:

Was busy with many things suddenly.Didnt find much time for all dese.
1.Long time spent wid Dad at home.was good to b with him for so many days at a single time.
2.Chicku is back and was nice to see her so soon which i never expected.
3.Revived my friendship with Partha which was extremely required to be done after few misunderstandings off late.Spent few days with him.Completely as we were in the initial days of our friendship.
4.Attended ICDCIt,an international conference held at coll but was too tuff to understand.The papers presented were alwaz out of my understanding.Still enjoyed it wid partha.
5.Had a good Christmas day.Sudden plan to have a get together and go for an outing with friends.Didnt know few of dem too.But was really nice meeting dem and making new friends.Had a group of 8 on 4 bikes.And dat was an awesome experience.As we r coming close to the end of our graduation we r meeting new people and making new friends.and may b thats the best thing to do.Cherishing these moments.This is probably the last such long holiday for my whole life till i retire from job.Thus wud make it count.And rightly so i hv been doing dat and taking life afresh.That outing with friends whom i hardly knew has made me too close to them whom i had nt met for the last three years being in d same college.May b the best was in store for the last.
A trip to Shanti Stupa(Dhauli ) on bikes in winter aftenoon is someting to b cherished for ever.the small trekking on d hill near by and the river side view gave the best of best feel.Camera and photographs have alwaz been my passion n how cud i forget to b with it.Clicked many pics and i was busy taking snaps of all dat we did.The walk into the Church and den the longggggg chitter chat just in front of the church in d early evening was really cool.Standing in small circle and discussing all dat never came before into the mind was someting to look at.
Beautiful evening ! rare ones ever in my life.
I wish we cud stay for more time but den good things dont last long.It came to an end with another hope to see such a day soon.
The best thing about it was dat we didnt make any serious planning before hand and it all got into the groove and dat is wht really excites.Sudden trip like dis never dissappoints since all dat occurs is never expected.so u r bound to enjoy each part of the thing.Else wen u plan things u hv some predefined idea about wats gonna happen.And i suppose dats life.
6.Results are out and it really made many ups and downs.For the first time our batch has seen such a big turn around.Unexpected results and poor performances.Sort of nightmare ! But again this hardly matters now since life is set for the future and wht matters is how we r gonna perform at the bigger platform.Dat matters d most and not the score over here.
7.Developed a feeling !! Dont know why n how but i want these few months to end as soon as possible.Before it used to b like i never wanted these days to end ever.never wanted to leave college and i used to b quite nostalgic about leaving all dat i have gathered in these four years.But this has been a sudden change in me.I dont know how.But i suppose its for the good and m happy about it. The days shud get over as soon as possible and i m sick of this same old world of my own.I wanna explore the new world soon.Meet my new life that awaits for me with open arms.2007 knocking round the corner.It has been a year i hv been waiting for since 2003.Its a new step of my life no doubt.Its a milestone.And thus excited about the new and better life ahead...

many many good Wishes to Me !!
Hope all my dreams come true with this new step and new year dat appears to b a milestone.Adrinalin level is on the rise as i m getting closer to the much awaited time.

PISCES This Year in 2007

The present makes me feel that my future wud be quite similar to these preddictions.2007 had always been a year long waited for.My passing out year with lot many changes and interestingly off late my intuitions have started working so well and as this year is coming to its end it is getting stronger day by day...i can feel it in my day to day life these days.I have had this intuitions before also but dese days it sbulls eye everytime i hv it.


OVERVIEW:
Pisces is having a once in a lifetime opportunity for great changes this year. You will be having the time of your life, expressing your loving and compassion to the world and fulfilling your boldest dreams. There won't be a dull moment and you will intuitively know exactly what path to follow and what feels right in your heart. You will feel compelled to grasp new opportunities that manifest self-transformation in your career. You're stepping into your power easily, especially around April when you are urged to express your visionary mentality. You might rediscover your musical abilities and express yourself in creative ways. You have the power and inspiration to bring mystical sensitivity to what's around you. It's time to bring out the dreamy, loving and compassionate side of yourself and let it shine. You may want to get involved in writing, be it lyrics, poetry or just self reflection. Your idealistic nature is inspired from a strong connection to your surroundings, and you easily express yourself from a place of inner awareness. Your natural ability to communicate ideas to others is keenly perceptive now. Focus on trusting your intuition and you will get through nearly any circumstance. You need to lighten up about difficulties in life. Don't be so critical and overly concerned about details. Because you're so sensitive to others' moods, you may feel like you're not coming across in a very positive way. Take time out and have fun this year. Embrace that intimate love relationship you have!

CAREER:
With your outgoing nature and good work ethics, this is a great year to work with the public and let some of your hidden qualities shine outwardly. You are a good manager and make a wonderful role model to motivate others. Your high-minded principles spell success. Working in a higher educational field -- perhaps teaching philosophy or metaphysics -- would be very good for you. You feel comfortable teaching others about intangible principles because you've worked so hard to acquire your own self-awareness. Because of your compassion and being such a good listener, people feel drawn to you and look to you for advice. Very ambitious and seriously striving to reach your goals, you will achieve success this year. You will be asked to step up to the plate in new ways to help others. You will go through a lot of powerful transformations throughout the year in your career. You may have sudden and surprising opportunities -- traveling to distant lands, perhaps -- and will benefit from taking advantage of them. Try exploring new horizons, since it is a good time to expand your repertoire of skills and knowledge. You will benefit from grounding yourself from time to time in the practical considerations of life, especially since you will be asked to give out so much energy this year. Your work may be quite demanding, and sensitive Pisces needs to take time out just to relax, regroup and dream, especially when summer rolls around -- your favorite time of year. You need to recharge. Spend time alone in nature, especially by the sea.

LOVE:
Home and domestic issues are extremely important to you this year. You will feel close to those you love in your home environment. You are selective about emotional attachments. You have many positive friendships and feel socially comfortable. Being the sentimental and emotionally sensitive Pisces that you are gives you a gentle compassionate and loving personality, and the opposite sex appreciates that about you. You are idealistic and self-sacrificing. People adore you and can't get enough of your good nature, especially since you are a reliable friend and companion. Cuddling up next to a fireplace and having popcorn while watching a romantic movie or reading a book ignites the fantasy of having an intimate relationship. You'll find happiness when you connect with your higher self, and you function at your best when staying true to your fundamental vision of spiritual union in the world. Find someone who shares that vision. Your comfort level will definitely be going through some changes this year and you may even feel an urgency to move into a permanent home base. Emotional risks aren't something you want to take, and you may feel insecure about sharing your love with anyone else. As a result, you may feel vulnerable and raw. This year, learn how to overcome fears and trust your higher self to find the perfect relationship for you. In the springtime, you may be ready for a new relationship, or want to find new avenues of expression in your current relationship. You will be going through a lot of positive changes regarding your feelings this year, and it will make an enormous difference in your life.

Rattled by something which i had never thought of before.

How can a girl sleep so easily with a guy whom she has never met before that too just for money?

Yes i am talking of prostitutes.Is it that simple for someone to do so.Does money become so important in life ? The most surprising fact is dat max of such people are college going students from well to do family.Is it just money or pleasure ?

If its pleasure den this can b understood bt not money factor.Still wondering how is it possible.But then with a stranger.

Just cant accept the fact !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faith and Trust does not require any kind of condition.There are instances where people hv nt trusted me though we have been best of friends since years.But there also instances where people have given all their trust within no time.May it be just few days!Is it really important to meet and spend time with someone to trust him/her completely ? Its just that we need to be clear at heart n think straight.When we dont trust someone the fault doesnt lie with the person whom we dont trust but its the fault with our ownself.Its our own thought process and our deeds which make us not to trust someone else.Its us who r not trustworthy and dats why we dont trust someone else who can b definitely trusted with closed eyes. Please correct me if I am wrong.But this is what I have felt so far and my experience says this.

Came across a person who didnt think twice before giving the passoword of his/her primary mail box.And I was surprised to see dat n seriously speaking I didnt want dat.Cud have managed without it too.But that helped me a lot in my project.

Just wanna thank that person !!

Giving away a password is nt a big deal but the trust and faith with which it was given dat too without knowing me dat well was really something which made me so happy.It made my day though it was already late night :P

hehe....This was just an example to justify that trust n faith really depends on our own self.

What WE ARE !!

Few things making me go crazy

yI m just crazy for the music video of "Leja Leja" by Ustad Khan and Shreya Ghosal....just love the video...the theme is superb....

next thing making me go crazy is Dil Se title song video...SRK is fabulous in dat....the only place where i feel SRK has some talent.The expression of love is superb,the tadap is awesome

final thing is our cancellation of vibranz this year.

NB:-
anyone having the above two video can pls let me knw abt it and pls do tell me a site from whr i can download it.

An Evening Spent in the Memory Lane

An Evening with two friends from school days.What can one expect to do dan reviving the old school days.It was an evening filled with happy and sad momories.The discussions had no particular direction and we had a roller coster ride discussing them.We could see how one topic took us to another,how we were led from one point to other as if there was no chance of coming back to d same point again.
And it was so !!
We hardly had anytime left to come back to the previous things to discuss further.The most exciting thing was all dose revealations which had nt been made during school days.Things that were of utmost importance and were quite capable of creating a mess in our friendship had literally no meaning today.We went on with our confessions and all dat we did at school and never let anyone know wht we did.Then was the post mortem of every ones love story which were too childish den.Felt like how silly were those days n how trivial were those thoughts.How we used to fight for small things and how each one of us was related to others.Things that never made any sense were of utmost importance then. The most surprising things which came up were quite interesting and we hoped had we known them before then mite be we cud have changed something in our life.
Finally we went thru the pics from school time.It was really great to get back to dose days in the photos.The picnics we had,the nite halt trip to Puri,the pics from bus and every other pic was enuff to bring a tear or two into the eyes though i have grown up and learnt how to cover them very well.The pics could show how life was simple and easy than it is now.How we used to have fun and the most interesting thing was that how we all have changed in shape and size.everyone has changed and everyones looks were quite silly n different as compared to how they r now.
But it was an evening we enjoyed a lot.It was after many years(almost 7 years) dat we had got a chance to be seated togther at a place and discuss so freely.We had met between dese years and we were in touch many a times.But we had never got a chance to interact for so long and dat too so openly. I could feel tat we hv really grown up both as a person and as an itellectual.We cud sense that there was hardly any common thing in between our lives now.May b dat made it easier to speak.And may b we really had known the true meaning of friends whom we hv lost from school.There are people who r no more with us.And this has brought an insight that we hardly get any chance to speak up and we never know wht this life is in store for us.Where we r heading to.And when we wud next meet or we wud ever meet or not.All dese realities hv opened the doors of hearts to speak all dat u wish to just because u never knw wht is in store for the future.This was the best evening i had ever had since school times.Even during school days we never had such chance to sit down at some place other than school to discuss.But I could remember all those days when we used to talk for hours on phone and also in classroom.

The memories have not grown with us.We hv only grown and come a long distance from where the memories were.But the memories are still there where they were.We just need to find dem out from within the lanes.

Missing Vibranz !!

Vibranz !!

A word that beats every heart and makes every heart dance into a rythm of joy and happiness.
Come December and it feels the air with such excitement that u wud feel as if u r in a complete world. The name only suggests wht it means to people in KIIT.Vibranz makes the tempo of the college. K I T S Diskyaun...is what makes every heart go mad.Just love it.

This year too my heart is rambling around as we get into december.But I dont find dat wht the rambling mind had been searching for.There is no Vibranz this year.No event planned at college premises.Though last year also we didnt have Vibranz but there was the National Children's Science Congress which made up for that loss.I didnt feel d difference as we enjoyed a lot last year too with NCSC taking off in a grand style.

13th NCSC 2005 @ KIIT

But this year its nothing like that.There is no vibration in the wind.Its cold and dead as in a airconditioned room.Feeling suffocated and i need some free air of the Vibranz.But that wud never be the case. We may die out of suffocation but we r not entitled to organise this year's grand function.

This word Vibranz had no meaning to me when i joined the college but soon realised wht it means as we stepped into december 2003.Still remember the date 8th Dec'03 when our 1st sem xams got over.And den we jumped with the vibrations of our very own Vibranz.The event which was awaited by each and everyone in the campus.

The event rocked !!

Vibranz @2003

Experienced something which i had never thought of in my lifetime.Three days of full masti.Dancing to the rythm of Euphoria.That was altogether a completely new experience.

Come 2004 and again the same excitement and better plans to enjoy with all dat had been missing the year before.Many more friends to make.Vibranz is such a time when u can really make new and great friends.And thus it was nt quite surprising to make two precious friends den.They were Pracheta Das and Shiv Kumar Agarwal.Though i had known them before the event but it was this event which made me realise their value in my life.The event was quite memorable with memories to gather together.Then was all that drama on the final closing day which everyone saw.It was nothing less than a movie.Well there was this feeling within me that we too wud organise such events when we get into the final year and we wud definitely make an effort to make it the best one ever.Was keen enuff to knw how to organise such huge events.

2005 Dec was just a disaster for all of us and may b its only for that sad incident that we r unable to organise the event this year also.Something which we had been aspiring to get involved within was not all materialised just because something unwanted occurred last year.Were we responsible for it in any way??Then why nt this year ?

Few things need to be changed in this institute and firstly the attitude and outlook of the management shud change. Does nt the management need to think over this issue once more and make an attempt to give a scope to the students to enjoy such great events and also cherish such great moments for their life time ?

Isnt it really saddening to hear that we wont have Vibranz anymore in future.

At least we hv some thing to take home with us but wht abt the new students and the next generation students ?

wht will they take home with them when they leave ? Just nothing !!

Missing VIBRANZ a LoT !!

Reliving Vibranz at Home in my cozy room.

why ???????????????????????????????????

Why do people expect things from others what they never do themselves ???

Nostalgic

Exams are over n I had nt posted for many days out here.Dunno the reason why i did nt.But yes the day exams got over I could feel dat yes we r done and only one sem is left out in this engg career.
I still remember the last day of 2nd sem xam when Anu came and just was too excited about the fact dat we were no more juniors and we wud b in 2nd year.

The Seniors !!

Seeing her excitement i had said her dat how these 8 sems wud end we too wont know...and then all felt this guy is alwaz senti.I too didnt think much den just because there was amost 4 years for us.I too could not visualise this day when we wud b at the doorstep of final walk.
Huh.....wht m I doing....why so nostalgic !!

Things have changed a lot within dese four years.

I m really nostalgic.Having the feeling of getting back to old days.I wish I cud rewind all dat has happened and see thru....the past...
kehte hain jo beet gyaa so beet gaya.Lekin aise kaise beet jane de jab sari jndegi ke woh haseen pal kaid hon usi main?
But the last semw ud fly by and there is no doubt abt it....and on top of that we have more than a month gap.Dont understand why do the coll remains closed for so long.Have nt met any of the friends since long.realinsing how it wud b after six months when we all wud b placed in our respective places.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But as we move on in life we meet different people.And we really meet them late who had been missing in your life.U start realising that may b God wants us to meet few wrong people before meeting the the right one.And then i too have a philosophy in life.I feel the person whom i meet late is the one who will stay with me for long and till late...may b thats wht is turning out to b true.
I have started evaluating people and thats nt the right thing to do.But yes i have to.I really had to.Coz i need to find out who all wud stay wid me forever n who wont.This the really too tuff to accept that a few of them will only stay.And the most hurting thing is that those wont b there who were always expected to b thr.And then life gets tuff.
But did I ever say that I hv never have any expectations from anyone? True....I never expect....thats the best policy.
Expectations are never fulfilled.But when did I start expecting from people around me?.And may b most critical question is why did I !!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another thing has been bothering me for quite a long time.Do we really need to meet people to know them better ? Is it that we cant knw them without having a look at them ? Shud we not trust someone just blindly ?
Yes I hv !! Seems too different and may be many of my friends may reject this thought n may say that i hv been a fool doing so.But when I hv never got wht i expected then how can they complain and give such statements ? Dont they realise wht they have done to me ?
Why do people never understood wht they did ? Dont they have the guts to accept the truth ?
Come on hit me hard and say it to me.Have it in you to accept wht all u have done ?
If not then just fuck off !

Experience of CAT 2006

CAT 2006 format:
Two and half hours the time limit.
Three sections.
25 questions in each section.
So total 75 questions only.
Each one carrying 4 marks.Incorrect answer incurs a negative mark.
Five choices for each question(first time in CAT).
English section was tuff limited to only RC but no grammar and other stuff.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing to lose!!

This was my attitude before appearing the test.But slowly when I went through the paper, a kind of guilt built in.i could see it take birth.Tried to cut it and kill it.I have always believed "Never regret for what you do".But somewhere in the corner of my heart it(the guilt and regret) is still being nurtured.The words of Prachi flashed like a lightening "Abhisek do it else u would repent".
The paper was relatively easy if the natural level of CAT is taken into cnsideration.I could solve quite easily many of the problems with ultimate ease and could not believe that I was sitting in CAT 2006.But could not do everything well since my preparation was not 100%.For the first time I felt,had I prepared upto my standards then it was not that tuff.Yes may seem to be foolish and idiotic and weird and few may even come harsh to me complaining why didn't I,but I couldn't.Thats my fault.Now I feel,I should have.But again,its not yet over.XAT still round the corner.Looking forward to it.And yes I will give it my BEST !!
Just watch...

The Wait Is Over Now...

The Day End.The end of an Era !!
Seems like it has been days, months and years that I had been waiting for the day.Lot of things went by and occurred may be for this day.Just prayed at each step dat this day goes well and may be all shall be back to normal after this day.Life had changed for few months just for this day in mind.May be I was least bothered about my performance in CAT O6.Was never serious.But it was for some reason, of great importance to m.One hurdle crossed.Many to be crossed.Had been waiting to patiently for this day to come and bring with it all those beautiful old days.I could again see that carefree smile, the childhod back in action.The life without botheration is what I had waited for these long months and seriously I was not dissappointed.
Just the way I had dreamt of !!
i hope this brings all that my heart had been longing for>quite sure that slowly everything will fall in place.

Tears

Tears have always made me feel relax.It may seem dat I m weak at heart but whenever I have felt heavy at heart and unable to take on the stress specially emotionally I prefer to have some tears.Yes I agree that its something rediculous but few drops of it give me more of strength than without it.I dont knw why but tears bring out all dat is within u .With its salty taste it gives u the strength to bear all dat is more sour than the tears.Dont knw but tears are definitely a great healer. When u feel completely lost and want to cry as a child but there is not enuff tears in the eyes then in such circumstances think of the moments in life from ur past that have really hurt u a lot and then tears would come into ur eyes and make u feel relaxed.Yes this is no joke.Just try it and u wud feel wht u hv gained by just dropping few of them.As if a big burden has been given away.

Its all my experience with so many of such circumstances.And i have alwaz believed that tears are never a sign of our weakness.A person who can drop tears is the strongest person on the face of earth coz he has the guts to accept the truth when he is hurt,when he wants to have something desparately,one who is not ashamed of himself and one who has really lost.If u cant drop ur tears then u r nt strong enuff to accept the truth.Tears are nothing but the burst of emotions.

Why have I said so much tears.Because I have cried coz I m not ashamed of myself or I m not at all afraid of the circumstances.

I feel !

I m Human !!

Tears are never the signs of weakness rather they show a person's strength to express emotions.
-Abhisek
(My Patent...stop piracy :P)

Dream Date With Microsoft

Dream Come True!!! :dated 9th Nov'06
Well it was a dream come true day....dream company and wht more can a person ask from life.Beautiful experience and life long one too...Tried my best....But the Good news is dat i m not leaving CTS....cant leave the first comp of my life.Could not clear the written...But the written was very easy but just dont knw whr did i go wrong.Well it was also tuff enuff as only 21 got thru written out of 160 appeared....dat too clearing written with a day's notice was really tuff....bt yes had the confidence dat if i wud have cleared written den i wud hv definitely got thru....dats a diff story altogether...Anyways still happy dat i gave a try...looking forward to CTS !!

------------------------------------------------

Towards Our Destination

Jab hamari manzil ek ho,aur chahe ham do alag rahon(tracks) main hi kyun na chal rahe hon,aisa bilkul lagta nahin ke ham alag chal rahe hain.It seems, we both are on the same track marching forward to the same goal and same destination.
But today we both were walking together side by side on the same track under the same moon light.Seemed as if we both are heading to the same destination.But the fact was something else.Initially I was quite apprehensive in accepting the truth.But soon I realised, though we are on the same path but our destinations are different now.We have our own ways of life.
I may not forget this day when we were walking down to our destinations, but I would always remember all those days when we were heading to our common goals on the different tracks: You on Yours and I on My.

We never got the chance to walk along the same path but when we did our destination was different.

The eternal dance of light and darkness

The breeze could not enter my room. How could it, when it was closed to the outer world? I don't know how long I've remained indoors. It's been quite sometime now.

My room has a large window facing East. Peeping through it, I could've seen the mud-road that leads to the river bank. By straining my neck a bit to the right, I could've had a glimpse of the temple tower over which pigeons perch. Looking up, I could've also seen the dancing branches of the old Banyan tree that witnesses the entire process of my being.

"Are they still there?" I ask myself. Sitting in the darkness of my dingy room, I can often hear children's laughter, a mother's lullaby, the pitter patter of rain drops, the clang of the temple bell, the sweep of the wind and rustling sound of dry leaves and the entreaty of beggars. Should I open the window? Should I let in the breeze, and allow the light and air to pour into my room? These questions might appear ridiculous. Nevertheless, they're important considering the circumstances which compelled me to slam the door behind me. For, when it comes to light and darkness, I've always favoured the latter.

Darkness is heavy like a blanket. And it's ugly. It's frightening, too. It makes me droopy and sleepy. All the colours, all the movements, in fact, everything that represents life, stems out of light, my friends would argue. "Would light be so bright in the absence of darkness? It's in its lap we sleep and dream. It's from its lap we again wake up afresh; to realise all those dreams which we've been nurturing. Then, how can you call it ugly and frightening?

The debate went on. I stuck to darkness. They, to light. At one point, they asked me, "If you detest light so much, would you blank it out from your life completely by staying behind closed doors?" My instincts took up the challenge. But, with the passage of time, I thought I would soon succumb to the temptations that came from the world of light.

I remove the mirror from the wall. Lips dry, skin supple, eyes lacklustre, cheeks sagging, teeth yellowish, tongue heavy, nails brittle, joints creaky, I must appear pale and sick, though in the darkness, I could not see my reflection. "Are they right? Is darkness death? Is light alone life and beautiful?" I ask myself.

The Sun might have receded in the distant horizon; beyond all the oceans and mountains. Or who knows, it might have dawned, too, from the abysmal bottom of its cavern. For, my time no longer was 'relatable' to the time of the world of light. As thoughts got unleashed like drunken horses, somewhere in between, intoxication put me to sleep. It was then I saw the real colour of death. No, it wasn't dark. It was just colourless. It all happened when, after a bitter stand-off, light and darkness decided to recede into their respective regions to make their absence conspicuous. Or, at least, I thought so. The result was comic. For, as the fading light unveiled a blanket darkness, the darkness that dissipated brought in fresh beams of light.

I awoke startled. But, by then, I knew I had lost the debate. So had my friends. "Was it a dream?" I asked myself. "How does it matter?" the answer, too, sprang from within. For, now I know it's light and darkness which make the canvas of life. Death occurs when both are not — in a colourless state. With this realisation, as I open the window in a hurry, the soft rays of the rising sun begin to gently wash over my dark room.

By:T S SREENIVASA RAGHAVAN

Courtesy:The Speaking Tree(TOI)

Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey by William Wordsworth

This is a Poem written by Wordsworth which I consider to be one of the best from Him.Look at the way he symbolises things.It has two parts.The first part deals with the scenic beauty of the place and the second part deals with what life is.How teh place has been alwayz been within his memory and how it inspired him to enjoy the ultimate happiness.The second part makes me feel way he would have.I always start relating to such a place where I had been in my childhood days.But this poem had left a mark in me when I had gone through it in my 12th.Glad dat we had it in our course den.

Lines Composed a Few Miles above

Tintern Abbey

WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

on revisting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour,July 13,1798

Five years have past: five summers, with the length

Of five long winter ! and again I hear

These waters,rolling from their mountain-springs

With a soft inland murmur:-Once again

Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs,

That on a wild secluded scene impress

Thoughts of more deep seclusion; and connect

The landscape with the quite of the sky.

The day is come when I again repose

Here, under this dark sycamore, and view

These plots of cottage-ground, these orchard-tufts,

Which at this season, with their unripe fruits,

Are clad in one green hue, and lose themselves

'Mid groves and copses.Once again I see

These hedge-rows, hardly hedge-rows, little lines

Of sportive wood run wild: these pastoral farms,

Green to the very door; and wreaths of smoke

Sent up, in silence, from among the trees!

With some uncertain notice, as might seem

Of vagrant dwellers in the houseless woods,

Or of some Hermit's cave,where by his fire

The Hermit sits alone.

These beauteous forms,

Through a long absence, have not been to me

As is a landscape to a blind man's eye:

But oft, in lonely rooms, and 'mid the din

Of towns and cities, I have owed to them

In hours of weariness, sensation sweet,

Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart;

And passing even into my purer mind,

With tranquil restoration:-feelings too

Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,

As have no slight or trivial influence

On that best portion of a good man's life,

His little, nameless, unremembered, acts

Of kindness and of love. Nor less, I trust,

To them I may have owed another gift,

Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood

In which the burthen of the mystery,

In which the heavy and the weary weight

Of all this unintelligible world,

Is lightened;- that serene and blessed mood,

In which the affections gently lead us on,

Until, the breath of this corporeal frame

And even the motion of our human blood

Almost suspended, we are laid asleep

In body, and become a living soul:

While with an eye made quite by the power

Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,

We see into the life of things.

EmotionLess.

Sigh !!

Finally Chicku left !
Perhaps its the last time we met. Dont know where I would be next time when she returns to Bhubaneswar. I had thought that it wud be quite an emotional moment when she would leave.Definitely! Why not ?
She has been such a great friend and we have spent so many years together.And suddenly the time has come when we are departing.It was very ovious that I would have wet eyes and stuff.I still remember my school days when we used to discuss about the future and the time when we would depart with no knowledge at all when we would meet next.And the time finally came when we departed with in fact no knowledge about our future.The future which seems to be so unpredictable,so void to me.But the certaininty exists about my absence the next time she visits this place.There would be no Abhisek to recieve her at 4.40 am and no Abhisek to see her off at 3.15 pm.

In spite of all these thoughts the expected did not happen.I was completely emotionless with her departure.I had virtually no thoughts about these things.I was blank.Blank with nothin at all.I never expected this to happen.How did i become so harsh to my own emotions ? where is the feel ? Who is this sitting within me ? Is it the same Me ? I did everything dat was expected from me. Had been to the station half an hour before.Was there till the train left.A simple shake of the hand and the feel of the warmth in her palms,the sweat coming into my palms from hers said it all.She was tensed and was really stressed.Kept waving my hands till she was lost in the crowd.

But.....

But still I dont feel dat she has left and we wont be meeting for a complete year or more supposedly.Searching for the reasons for such a dead state of mine.The blood is expected to flow and the heart to beat.But there isnt anything,nothin absolutely.Just a numbness exists.

Few reasons which may answer my this state :-
1.My Project report submission and the mounting end sem tension has kept me preoccupied.I m damn busy wid my professional life.Having both tired mind and body.
2.The ovious fact that we would definitely meet someday.
3.The pace with which everything happened (her coming from home to bbsr,my meeting her today and her leaving occured within three hours) didnt give me enough time to realise the fact that she is leaving.
4.Presence of her mom at the station.
5.Presence of a great friend named Pooja who made me at ease emotionally.
6.That we r such good friends,distance factor would hardly affect our friendship.
7.She would never change.
8.I have taken her for granted.
9.We have seen many ups and downs in our friendship and there has been such tuff period when we didnt meet for two years.Still we were the same when we met after the crisis.Literally nothing matters !
10.We will b in touch through phone and mail.
11.I have learnt how to live without her when she left BBSR for the first time in june.
12.I have grown up :P...hehehe
13.Amit's Presence.
14.My inability to judge the situation and feel it.
15.I have become too rigid and built a heart of stone out of all the past experiences.

All the above reasons seem to be quite enough to justify my such unusual behavior.

Even i m amazed at this change in ME.I hope this is for the good !!

Problem Solving

Do we really need some one to slove our problems ?

We mostly turn to a person when we r in some problem and we think we are lost.That person may b our best friend,our parents,our teacher or anybody.But is it necessary dat we shud turn to dem for problem solving?

Do these people know more dan us about our problems ?

Do they really understand the position in which we r in ?

Are they the best person to judge the situation n find a suitable solution ?

The person to whom we turn to may b the person who best understands us.But not necessarily dat person wud understand the situation best.

Few months back i was so much dependent on few people dat i never knew how wud I live without them.It was like death witout them.Any problem I faced it used to be like i would approach some of the best pals that i have got like Satrujeet,Chicku,Amit and Prachi.I used to b too much dependent on them and i used to feel that since they knw me so well and understand each part of me, so they r the best persons to evaluate a situation or a problem I m in.And I used to leave the whole of solving the problem upto them.

But things have changed in dese few months.As they say changes do come for the good.And i can say that the changes dat have come in my life have at least helped me realise that who else can understand my problems dan me myself.Its me who is facing the problem and i know wht r the circumstances.So how can some one else even my best friend understand until and unless he is nt experiencing it.I dont say that I dont need them but wht i wanna say that its finally me only who can find the best solution for myself.Since i can b the best person to judge the situation,i can find a way out.And believe me i now feel dat though these people still play a vital role in my life but still i wud never ever feel lost and feel helpless when they are nowhere near by.I knw they all r there for me anytime but i can atleast understand my situaion the best.

So when in a problem i dont think its always our friends who wud help us.they wud definitely b there to b our support.But when its time to act and take a decision we shud alway turn to our own conscience.We should fight the situation ourselves.

Problems are not deamons.They are just a phase of life.
Just a song comes often to just show the phalacy of these problems - Zindegi Kaisi hai Paheli Hai Kabhi Yeh Hasaye Kabhi Ye Rulaye....

Stupid Me !!

Things seem to be so simple and wht a stupid m I in concluding things so quickly.I really sometimes wonder why do i come to conclusions so quick !! And everytime I conclude something or other I just think of my blog and the thing dat wud go into it related to dat conclusion.The way i wud put it,the way i wud start and all blah blah blah.I just create my blog in the mind and wish I was at the laptop to jot down whatever i feel at that particular moment.

But sigh !!

Dats not alwaz possible.

Diwali Day !!

First Conclusion :

The day is fabulous.Beautiful morning.Complete chutti from work and regular activities.Ideal break one can wish for after such a long week.Visit to friend's place and purchase of fire crackers for the perfect firework in the evening.

Second Conclusion (not exactly a conclusion but a sort of realisation) :

Diyas !!

Deepak !!

They r the perfect example of a person's life.They can teach u a lot.Just need to have a look at them.Observe right from the beginning dat it is lighted and the fabulous flame growing just like a baby.

In the process of lighting dem in the evening i could feel how nice it is to create something.The flame,the light,the child.For the first time i could feel how great it must be to be a dad.How gentle a just born child wud be ! How caring we need to be to nurture and protect our siblings.How amazing it must have been to be a father.How proud u feel when u r a dad and when u r successful in growing ur child where u want dem to be.This all feeling came to me as i went on lighting diyas one by one.Giving brith to a new life.A new world.That which could not manage to sustain its own weight(the flame i m talking of ) ,that which has no existence of its own without my support, wud very soon give light to the world.Remove all darkness and bring in all dat happiness which we aspire for.

I also realised dat nothing happens so easily.A diya which promises to enlighten everything and be a great warrior against the darkness,also has to take time to come upto its potential.It is potent enuff to do so.But it also needs time.It too has to struggle against all odds.I could see dat everytime I lit a diya it was not suddenly dat it got into its actual form.It too takes time.When the light itself takes time to come up why do we being just humans want everything to be done instantly.Why do we want to achieve everything without doing anything and any struggle? That everything has tto undergo a natural and gradual process.We need to give in our hundred percent.

The diya gives happiness and light to all.But what does it get?Its own base is in darkness.Burns itself for otehrs just to get nothing for itself.We too need to be selfless and now I just remember one of my friends saying me "bas social work and service kar....kya milta hai? doosron ka kaam hi bas karta reh..."

I can just say that I would still go ahead with my social service or whatever u name it just for the reason dat i wud never aspire to get anything in return.I dont expect anything.Its just my pleasure.

Third Conclusion :

A good news and what can i ask for.A perfect gift on diwali.A friend's personal life which had been so unsure and the guilt with which she used to be in has finally come to an end.A fullstop !

Hats off to her to b so courageous and to accept all truth and face it before her family.Hope everything goes fine with her from now on.

Final Conclusion ( A setback ) :

How is it dat my deartest friend forgot to wish me.How can he be so rude.How did he behave so indifferent.First time he hurt me.I too did.I had to. Things got serious.Can he be such ? Its the Influence of his friends. He has become so insensible and has gone away from me.I have lost a good friend.He has to b sory for all dat he did.The whole day is a waste.Nothing is good.It was the worst time i ever had.What will i expect from others when its him who could do this.

This is really stupid of me to have come to such conclusions in just a day.

Can I be more composed and stable?

Am I so imbalanced with my thoughts and feelings?

Shud i be more stable ?

Should I give time to all dat happens around me?

To speak frankly all these four questions have only a single answer which is a YES !

I cant derive things so easily.How can I hurt my own friend?I accept that i was rude enuff.I didnt take his words lightly which he never meant seriously.He was joking definitely as i m very sure.I should not have disconnected the call and switched off the mobile.I was bit hyper with my approach.He was not right but I was also not right in my behavior.I m guilty and I will have to sort out the things tomorrow.Have to say sorry so many times which i too dont know what will be the final count of it. Hehe !!

I m such an idiot and a fool.I m just a Stupid u See !!

Day THREE : 29th Sept

.......contd from day two (Kolkata Trip)

Day Three Unplugged !!

Day three was the best day of the trip.It was on dat dat all the friends got together.It was day full of masti.Completely dedicated to Masti.Had no specific breakfast,no lunch and even evening went without food.except the dinner which was awesome.

Day started with a movie in INOX in city centre and guess wht movie. It was Pyar Ke Side Effects !!:)

Cant just describe the movie except dat it was superb and the humour was just like Rahul Bose.Rahul has his own style altogether n sometimes i wonder why is he not thr in mainstream Bolywood ?
Little bit exaggerated a movie bt was good.The experience of INOX was superb.

Den was the journey to the place we were most excited about.It was the Aquatica.Place which had its attaction before the trip was planned.Had nice time with all friends.Exciting rides with water n water everywhere.I had previously water phobia but it didnt matter.Enjoyed every moment at the place with loads of pics being taken.Almost 5hrs at the place had taken away all d energy.It was quite tiring and that too when we had no lunch.But still we enjoyed.It was made more exciting with rain.It was really so romantic but everything was too cold n we all were shivering due to wind.

Got back to the main city and it was time to go for pandal viewing.Well it was den 7 in d evening.Had no energy but still had to since we had no time in hand to cover all places.Nyways the attarction was the big 3 storey building of Haldiram's.Could not blv that an Indian country has such a big center.It had all sorts of food and the dinner was complete indian and spicy.

The biggest prb in Kolkata was the time taken in travelling.That was the most boring part of the trip.Every time we got into a bus or a auto it was like one hour pakka.

The best thing and uniue thing that i marked is that the whole city celebrates Durga Puja.Eevry building and every house (big or small) with decorations and lightings.Beautifully made lights and the hanging lights gave it an image as if a light city.All places had their unique feature of style.Lights were the main attraction.The excitement and the interest with which people celebrate and enjoy is quite remarkable.Their way of being attached to their own culture is quite admirable.
You would find people of all ages and even ladies coming out of their houses in the evening.Going from one pandal to another throughout the night.Pandals had queues till 5kms and more.Still people had the enthu to keep going.they enjoyed this.Standing in a queue was their Puja enjoyement.That their energetic and enthu was too much.Even The taxis,trains,metro,auto and buses kept running whole night.

Hats off to the people of Kolkata and their culture.
Amazing stuff !!!

Those Days Are Back...Just for a DAY

My heart was longing for such a day!

I was missing something but really didnt know what it was.

The days have gone by when I used to have the company of my friend.How desparate I had been to meet Chicku ! And finally what i saw at 4.45am was Her.Finally she is back.

Yes She is back !!

The joys knews no boundaries and had to flow by like from the Gangotri.The flash of her sweet smile said it all.It was we meeting each other and she had landed on BBSR (the place she used to give a damn before has now become heaven for her). The bubbling words and the spark of happiness clearly shone in her eyes.

Her talks started right from the time we met and she went on and on explaining all the experiences and happenings at the new place.It was so nice listening to her talks though we were still in the station until it became morning and sun came up.It was 6am when we left the station.But till then it was all she. The excitement with which she went on saying abt her new coll,new friends,faculty,the environment and every damn thing dat had happened to her at the new place. It was like burst of emotions.I just kept on listening to her and looking at the twinkle she had in her eyes. I Feel really blessed dat thr is one person who looks upto me in every part of her life.That really matters a lot.What made me glad and happy is dat though we have now diff friend circle and all together different environment,she still needs me as she used to when we were in school.That Own feeling (apnapan in hindi) made the day for me.

As we drove along the road i could hear her saying "this is the filling station i used to fuel my scooty,this is the place we used to come for fast food,this is the opolfed i used to go to for bread and so on n on ".I too had a complete flash back of all the places and things dat we had associated with the places. Lovely memories moved through the mind as the subtle cold wind kissed my eyes and the nose.Silence prevailed as we both were lost remembering all the past days.

Plan was to make the day exactly as those days when Chicku used to b there.So we visited all those places dat we used to visit regularly starting from The CCD in front of Ram Mandir. Bowed my head in front of the Almighty for this day.Innumerable topics were discussed and they changed like the waves in the sea,each losing its identity with the evolution of the other.Then the Forum Mart where she again went on saying abt her new friends this time with more of support for her i.e. the CD full of pics of her friends and the events they enjoyed at Mumbai(yaar main pura pak gaya aur yeh use pata na chale :P).But i m now glad that she has a bunch of friends who will b there for her alwaz and she is happy which was not the case initially.Truely Happy For HER !!

Went to Barista through the road she used to love.The four laned road with white mercury lights on its just heaven.Stopped the bike and just few mins on the pavement.It was awesome and i remembered the first day i had brought her to this place.She had gone mad dat day!

But today i could see her enjoying the very sight and the moonlight.Calm n composed.Her eyes spoke of everything dat she felt.

Finally it was Barista n around 9pm when i left her.But as i was on the way to leave her i just asked her one question "why do we meet to depart ?"

and she replied perfectly saying "dats wht life is all about"

And suddenly i realised dat this would b the last time we would meet at BBSR coz next time when she returns i wont b thr since i would have also left bbsr and joined CTS at some other place.These sweet memories are created so as to take dem with us as we depart n move alone in life.

It was after so many months that i was so happy and moving around in the evening.After she had left i had stopped roaming in the evening.either my time passed by by remaining indoors watching TV or netting.But today i felt as if the those days have come back and i m living the past all over again.How nice it would have been if we had a rewind button and we could get back to the exact frame we wanted to ? To live that moment again that our heart alwaz keeps close to itself !!

Just the thought of the reality dat she would leave soon enuff and to meet her next would be a rare possibility created some particles in my eyes that had had few droplets deep within.

Songs dat she murmurred all the day and wud remind me of this day for years to come were:

Tere Bin Kaisa jeeya Tere Bin

Kyun aaj kal neend kam khwab jyada hain

Kabhi alvida na kehna

She would finally leave soon for her new world leaving my heart pounding for each such day.

The Wait !

3 Months and 19 days !

The wait for my Friend.A friend i have rarely talked about wid people around me.The reason being i never had the necessity of doing so because we r two diff people altogether when we r together which no second person can ever know and understand.
She is the only friend from school, who has been in contact with me since school days.This feels great to look back at times where we used to b together n looking at the postion where we r standing now.Its like two diff ends of the world.World has changed so much.But we havent changed much for each other since years.

We had been in contact all through out and she had been in my city for over last three years.But last June she left for her MBA.

But she will b back soon.Had been waiting for her.I knw how the days went without her who had been like evening prayer for me since three years.Still remember those days when we used to meet everyday in the evening and i used to have all my plans cancelled for her.

Such had been the days.Missing her each day each fternoon and most importantly each evening.But today the wait will be over.she will b reaching at the station at 4 am. And guess what ?

I m at my friends' place to be able to recieve her.My eyes have won the war and sleep is nowhere near.The excitement to meet her has grown like a dragon.The ticking of the watch and the fan moving around had made me feel more excited as the time is going by.But why do I feel dat the watch is running late and the time machine has been switched off ?

These days passed by counting the number of days left to meet next.I remember each call dat was made had the mention of number of days left from her soothing and anxious voice.That she too has been desparate to come back to her place makes me feel wonderful.How will it be ?
Though she had left long back but everything is in the same place.I still dont have any plans in the evening for tomorrow.I have been spending time indoors in the evening.I didnt have to make excuses that i used to make at home to move out when she was there at BBSR.But yes i miss those days.

My longing heart still waits for her to be back in BBSR.I dont knw what will be my reaction when I meet her after so many days.Days have passed by, which never seemed to pass by.But glad dat Finally we have reached this position when we would meet just after another one and half hours from Now.

Waiting Waiting Waiting...
So tuff a job !!

Day TWO : 28th Sept

What a morning !

Cant be better than this.Just awesome. The feel of being in a different place.As if everything had been all set for us to welcome.The breeze had its own charm.That which had been reserved for us.Colorful trees and beautiful birds.

Wild thoughts and wild dreams.

The wish to explore the whole new world.Moving to a different world. But the feel of loneliness seemed to creep as i could feel the busy life at Kolkata.It was early morning and not even sun had taken its place.But thats wat seemed to b so much like true metro and India.people and people around.

Finally reached the place where we wud b halting. Bansdroni,Netajinagar Gachhtala....sweet name !

Places we moved through out the day after a bit of rest :

Salt Lake,City Centre,Nicco Park,Labony and many names dat i cud neither pronounce nor know wht dey meant.Left it to our sweet little friend to understand since she was from kolkata.

Had loads of fun at Nicco Park.Thr was little bit of drizzle which made it wonderful.The most intresting part in it was the discussions which i had with my friend Pragya on people wearing dresses which few could carry themselves in it and few who could not.And how the dressing sense of people(specially girls) give the idea of their bent of mind and modernity.Can they ever manage to be fit into a typical Indian culture and many such wierd discussions.One thing that i could learn is dat Pragya is a good Debator but she never participates in any events and dat really seemed something unusual but i hope she agrees with me and participates in this year's Debate competetion the Pratijja.

Everything was well planned and places were sorted to b seen as per their location. Had the view of our first Pandal at Kolkata and it was awesome to view the tarditional Puja and rituals being carried out.

It was the Pandal at Labony which had been beautifully made.The second one was the Pandal at the EC Block whr we witnessed the Sasthi Puja called as Sasthi Boron.Its a Puja where Big drums(Dhak) are decorated with feathers as if it were a space ship.People who play the Dhak are known as the Dhaki.Women dressed in typical white n red border sarees made the aarti,children dressed in new colourful costumes,gals wearing dressed to perform dance for the Sasthi Boron !!

What felt nice was that people have not yet forgotten their culture and to b a part of such a culture was so nice.

Sweet moments spent with friends are hardly potent enuff to b explained n to b felt only in the heart.Did enjoy the drizzle and the wind dat blew across the open spaces of the place (salt lake).Beautiful to stay and just behind we had the big mall city center.nice hanging out place and good to b wid frnz.

Then in the dinner we had my best friend Satrujeet.It was his arrival which made me so glad and finally my wait for him since i reached Kolkata got over.

Had a cute special dish named Chicken Momo specially ordered by Pragya and we loved it.

Things that gave the flavour of Kolkata :

Yellow Taxi with meter reading with doubling effects.
Small rickshaw with capacity of one and half
Old Broken Buses still on the road
Buildings with old british design
Chicken Momo
-------
Quite a tiring start to the whole trip.But glad dat tht we did enjoy each moment of the day.The walks along the wide n narrow roads of kolkata made me think how the whole city has in it all d contrasting elements together.

Most amazing thing that i noticed was a small bridge on a canal in Gachhtala which can only b crossed one way.The slope is such dat the passengers need to get down from the rickshaw to enable the rickshaw puller get to the other side with the rickshaw.So sweet an experience to get down the rickshaw n den walk along the canal to the other side and den again get into the rickshaw.

Thats what makes Kolkata so special.

27th Sept to 8th Oct 2006

12 days of complete break from life.Not even net.Only fun n friends.Great experience all together.Spread over two phases:

1st Phase

Day ONE - 27th :-

Excitement for the journey to Kolkata with friends.The best thing of it was tht i had the chance to have a journey with friends in train.Dont knw why I had this subtle dream to achieve.Train was t leave at night but had a bday party in d afternoon which too was enjoyed wid friends and that bubble of happiness and excitement did exist abt the trip.All set for the trip n we enjoyed the party n when it was night the curiousity grew till i reached station and that small walk from the road in front of the station where the auto left me to the platform 1 was an experience hard to forget. Had the mixed emotion of the trip.Had completely no idea how wud it turn out to be.Never ever had the feeling of being so closely attached to my own place.Felt as if i m leaving for ever n cud realise dat few months after this we all wud b leaving from the same station to the new place where the new life awaits us. But kept that feeling for some other day n strolled along to the platform since i had got the news of the train being late.
Finally met the friends and all waited for the train to arrive at the brisk pace as if it wud we wud fly with it.
Train arrived !

What a beginning to the Journey.What a tragedy ! Cant ask for more to remember this journey and to make it more exciting.One of my frnds ,she had forgotten her flight tickets (of the flight which she had to board the next day from Kolkata in d afternoon) in the hostel. Panic creeped in and calls thru cell phones played the game.Then all was set for the night.Had loads of khatti (chit chats)n fun.Sweet little tales n talks.Those drowsy faces n the people sleeping around in the dim light that seemed to b some threat to darkness bt was just an assurance of being a saviour. But the glow on the face of the friend made it clear that thr was no reason to bother.Just to chill n relax. The thrill of being together n a wish to capture each moment passing by in the hearts. Memories to be made stronger to preserve the unforgotable moments for the days,months years and ages to come.

Time flew by and reached the destination.Good Morning Kolkata !!

25th Sept.

Forgot to mention dat 25th sept has been one of the memorable days....because of this year's dandiya nite....and the last year's bday party of Himanshu !!

well both the days we really enjoyed with our heart out.Hope this continues.

BANG !!

It was the first Fog of the season.It was as exciting and romantic as the first Love.Cutting through the fog on the bike i could feel the little droplets kissing my face and few of dem surrendering on the spectacles.It wasn't dat chiil outside but rather pretty pleasant since it had been too humid for d last week or so.Looking through the poor light was like looking into the eyes of the the most beloved one.It was really romantic n i hoped i could jott down my thoughts there only.Peeping through the window i could only see nothing .It had a beautiful effect on the surrounding all around.Waiting for the winters to start n take everything into its cover.

Well this was something unexpected.Fog was never on the cards for 25th Sept.But what was on the cards ?

It was the DAY (rather evening ) all had been waiting for.Many preparations had gone into for this particular day.Marketting,Make ups,Mehndi and all dose stupid things had kept the gals busy since two three days.(bt to tell u d truth dat kept the guys really excited for the day) It was DANDIYA NIGHT 2006 - The last one for us at college. So many plans had been made to make this a big day n a memorable day.

And finally it was evening.Had a complete blast. enjoyed to the max.Had the coll tempo going all along the show. Just amazing n the best thing about the evening was we the guys were busy giving complements and the gals were quite happy n ambitious to get some more.U knw Dil Mange More....waise we too did let their expectations down. Well everything was so colourful and beautiful. Just was one of those days when u can never think of a single piece of sorrow at ur door.If at all there were any den they were not allowed to creep in and just kept at the door step waiting till tomorrow comes. Photo session was one of the best ones we have ever had. Special treatment by the management(Sastry Sir-Placement Officer,Baidyanathan Sir) and the faculties (HOD CS - M.N Das Sir) for the final year made the day memorable.Special song for final year and the way things went on with the feeling dat This Was It.Now its time to say adiue. But didnt have any second thought in the mind except having fun.

The Dandiya Sticks,the songs,the photos,the tempos,everything are so special dat i can hardly part from dem.They will keep reminding me n of course all in the friend circle of the greatest ever moments of the lifetime.Can we have any such day further in future life ?

can we b so carefree and dumb ?

can we b so callous to the reminder to get back to respective hostels ?

Can we ever get back to past ?

Cant we have a rewind button in life ?

cant we capture each moment n each feeling ?

cant we have more ?

expecting to hve more of such events in these few months....but yes we wont b thr thereafter !!

Mail from Mrs.Sudha Murthy

I personally find this article very inspiring. Small sentences can give so much help to how life should be handled. Please read it.

It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies' hostel. Other girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science.

I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in computer science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US. I had not thought of taking up a job in India.

One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc.

At the bottom was a small line: "Lady candidates need not apply."

I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was upagainst gender discrimination.

Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male peers. Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough to be successful.

After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform the topmost person in Telco's management about the injustice the company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco.

I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually, Sumant Moolgaokar was the company's chairman then). I took the card, addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly what I wrote.

"The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who started the basic infrastructure industries in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives. They have cared for higher education in India since 1900 and they were responsible for the establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is discriminating on the basis of gender."

I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco's Pune facility at the company's expense. I was taken aback by the telegram. My hostel mate told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs 30 each from everyone who wanted a sari. When I look back, I feel like laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good enough to make the trip.

It was my first visit to Pune and I immediately fell in love with the city. To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways. As directed, I went to Telco's Pimpri office for the interview.

There were six people on the panel and I realised then that this was serious business.

"This is the girl who wrote to JRD," I heard somebody whisper as soon as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the job. The realisation abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather cool while the interview was being conducted.

Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I told them, rather impolitely, "I hope this is only a technical interview."

They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed about my attitude. The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them.

Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, "Do you know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed college; this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work in research laboratories."

I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited place.

I did not know the ways of large corporate houses and their difficulties, so I answered, "But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will ever be able to work in your factories."

Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we became good friends and we got married.

It was only after joining Telco that I realized who JRD was: the uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show some reports to Mr Moolgaokar, our chairman, who we all knew as SM. I was in his office on the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I saw "appro JRD". Appro means "our" in Gujarati. This was the affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.

I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM introduced me nicely, "Jeh (that's what his close associates called him), this young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate.She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor." JRD looked at me. I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my interview (or the postcard that preceded it).

Thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he remarked. "It is nice that girls are getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your name?"

"When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir," I replied. "Now I am Sudha Murthy." He smiled and kindly smile and started a discussion with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room.

After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had in common. I was in awe of him.

One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard. Looking back, I realise JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a small incident for him, but not so for me.

"Young lady, why are you here?" he asked. "Office time is over." I said,"Sir, I'm waiting for my husband to come and pick me up." JRD said, "It is getting dark and there's no one in the corridor.

I'll wait with you till your husband comes."

I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting alongside made me extremely uncomfortable.

I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There wasn't any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, "Look at this person. He is a chairman, a well-respected man in our country and he is waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee."

Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, "Young lady, tell your husband never to make his wife wait again." In 1982 I had to resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was absorbed in thought. I wanted to say goodbye to him, so I stopped. He saw me and paused.

Gently, he said, "So what are you doing, Mrs Kulkarni?" (That was the way he always addressed me.) "Sir, I am leaving Telco."

"Where are you going?" he asked. "Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a company called Infosys and I'm shifting to Pune."

"Oh! And what will you do when you are successful."
"Sir, I don't know whether we will be successful." "Never start with diffidence," he advised me. "Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. I wish you all the best."

Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive. Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House, occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, "It was nice hearing about Jeh from you. The sad part is that he's not alive to see you today."

I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice. He must have received thousands of letters everyday. He could have thrown mine away, but he didn't do that. He respected the intentions of that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he changed her life andmindset forever.

Close to 50 per cent of the students in today's engineering colleges are girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry segments. I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly.

My love and respect for the House of Tata remains undiminished by the passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the same vastness and magnificence.

(Sudha Murthy is a widely published writer and chairperson of the Infosys Foundation involved in a number of social development initiatives. Infosys chairman Narayana Murthy is her husband.)

Article sourced from: Lasting Legacies (Tata Review- Special Commemorative Issue 2004), brought out by the house of Tatas to commemorate the 100th birth anniversary of JRD Tata on July 29, 2004